When Tinder first came out, we thought it solved the dating game for women, that it was the best—a hook-up app that we could actually use without the social stigmas. That was until it quickly became a breeding ground for sexual harassment, unsolicited dick-pics and messages from the painfully socially inept and entitled quadruple-, sometimes quintuple-, even sextuple-offenders who refuse to take a hint.
That’s why Bumble is the new buzz (pun intended), and women are obsessed. Functioning much like Tinder, Bumble opens an opportunity to message anytime there’s a match. That catch? Men cannot initiate chat on Bumble. Women must write first, and if they choose not to, the opportunity will self-destruct in 24 hours. Hopeful guys can extend one match per day for another 24 hours.
Without your go-to pickup line, you could end up just another headshot tossed in a vast abyss of eligible bachelors. Or you could dominate the competition by designing the kind of profile women love. Here’s how.
1. Understand that photos count.
Unlike Tinder, which boasts a larger space for one’s bio, mutual Facebook friends and shared fan pages, a total of six slots for photos consume the bulk of the Bumble profile; the seventh slot is actually the biography, so women will likely swipe through your photos before reading about you. So it is critical that you care about your family, have eligible friends for ours and do cool things. Or appear to, anyway.
2. Make your six photos tell a story women find irresistible.
Solo shot. This is sort of obligatory. When we pass photos with groups of guys, and we’re not sure whose profile it is, we likely just pass it. The first photo should really be a singular shot, so we know it’s you.
The family man, hanging with the good ol’ rents, siblings, nieces, nephews, pets, etc. Aside from one solo shot, we do like to know that you surround yourself with other human beings. We like mama’s boys. It shows that you both value and appreciate your inherent support system.
The handy man, casually fixing up a house. We want to keep people like you around, to help us install doorframes and crap like that.
The social man, hanging with your crew. This suggests that you’re sociable and people can apparently stand your company. Plus if we bring our friends out we know it won’t be a clambake.
The active man, doing stuff. Maybe you’re a weekend mountain biker or snowboarder, which suggests a positive attitude toward fitness and the outdoors. Or maybe you’re into something that we can take up with you, which renders major bonus points.
The happy man, smiling. Because when you smile, you look pleasant. When you look pleasant, you look approachable. When you look approachable, we message you.
3. Don’t forsake your occupation and education.
Bumble asks that you select your career from a menu of “general occupations,” unless it’s populated from your Facebook. We want to know that you take pride in your professional life, and we also seek men with lifestyles similar to our own. Your job can often hint at that, the free time you have for us and potentially your passion. Bumble also asks that you include your alma mater’s name, which surfaces from your Facebook as well. Doing so can oftentimes spark “the name game.” We love the name game, the—“Do you know…?” It provides a sense of familiarity and an immediate connection.
4. Cut the basics.
You only have 300 characters in your bio, but it’s weird when you just write your height, weight, eye color, number of wrinkles in your toes and width between your brows. If we’re already attracted to your photos, we’d rather you make room for personality. Read on for more.
5. Reel her in.
First and foremost, we want to know that you can spell (grammar is key), but you can also give us a conversation starter—write about your choice cheesecake or quote some dumb movie we’ll probably first IMDb. You can also use this section to write about what you’re seeking, which helps both of us weed out a lot of unwanted interactions. Including your Instagram handle also saves us the work we’d otherwise have to do when we stalk your social media presence—it’s appreciated.
6. Utilize the extend feature.
Don’t give up so soon; women have an intrinsic attraction to confidence and want to feel wanted. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t spend all of our time swiping love interests and we only have 24 hours, 16 of which are spent working and sleeping. Cut us some slack; if you get a match and she doesn’t message you right away, use the extension to let her know you chose her over all your matches. She might feel more inclined to reach out.
7. Be ready for that magical day your dream girl messages you.
Fair warning: Bumble has a block and report feature, with which we can use to flag you for offenses like inappropriate content and rude or abusive messages. And unlike a number of dating apps that don’t actually function as promised, Bumble will give you the boot immediately. So drop her a simple greeting, comment on something in her biography and let her steer the boat. She made a Bumble account so she could be in control of her online conversations. Now that she’s kicked things off, you can kick back and let her win your affection for a change…
Join thousands of men and women who are dressing up for a good cause. Go formal with Made Man and Career Gear on Friday, October 9th to help empower men in need with resources, training and suits they can use to rejoin the workforce. Because for every photo posted to Instagram or Twitter and tagged #FormalFriday, we’ll donate a dollar to Career Gear. Learn more at mademan.com/formal-friday.