Oh yes, the yearly office holiday party is on the horizon of your near future. The music is never that good. You can do with or without the food. No one ever invites any cool guests. So, what’s the mass appeal of an office holiday party? Simple. You get to see all the people you work with for 40 or more hours a week cut loose. The people that only display a rather professional side to them can’t help but to show your more than the tips of their respective drunken icebergs. This also means you. Everybody is watching everybody else to see what kind of crazy stuff they’ll do. Here are eight mistakes you will make at the office holiday party.
Drinking too much. This is a universal mistake. Everyone from the office clerk to the CEO will make this particular mistake at the office party. This is the mistake, however, that all other mistakes find wings and fly from. Without this mass mistake, the office holiday party wouldn’t be worth attending.
Talking about your boss. Hey, it’s a party. It’s time to unwind. Chances are you’ll spend a little time posted at the bar with your buddy from the finance department. He’ll start venting about his slave driving boss. You’ll make the mistake of sharing your displeasure of only receiving a three percent raise from a buffoon of a manager. You’d just better hope that buffoon isn’t walking by.
Flirting with your crush. You know that hot chick in accounting you’ve been dying to talk to? Well, that liquid courage burning through your system is going to push you to do it. Problem is, the holiday party may not be the best place to do it. Unless, of course, you don’t mind everyone knowing your business.
Sex with your crush. Hey, this is a mistake most guys will not mind making…at all. Just make sure you don’t get caught. Offices aren’t the place to choose for your alcohol fueled sexual escapade. Try your car or hers. Better yet, the filing room wont have anyone in there during the party. Remember to straighten up before you return to the party.
Passing out at your dinner table. What happens when you drink too much? A gradual total body shutdown, that’s what. Every year, somebody ends up sleeping at their respective dinner table, coincidentally looking like they do when the sleep through a meeting. You can expect pictures of you catching Zs on the company bulletin board come Monday.
Drunken dancing. It’s quite alright to be a buffoon at a club. It’s a different matter altogether when you let your inner idiot meet your coworkers. But, like everything else, with enough alcohol in your system, this mistake is just as inevitable. May as well give them something to talk about Monday.
Throwing up in the bathroom. Just make sure no one sees you ok. With the amount of food you’ve consumed, and the amount of alcohol, multiplied by the crazy dancing you’ve been doing all night, it’s inevitable. That food is coming back up. Make sure you know the quickest way to the bathroom so you can vomit in peace. Keep some mouth wash in your back pocket, so you can freshen up and get back to the party.
Hitting on the CEO’s wife. Here’s a sure fire way to end up with an extended vacation. With enough booze in your system, anything can be possible. If she’s older and hot, just stay away from her. It means she’s attached to somebody in middle management or above. Now, if she approaches you, that’s different. Just make sure you don’t get caught.