You may only go abroad/south of the border/to Nebraska once every three years, but when you do, why not focus on the places to bag a native with extremely loose morals? We know the old US of A is probably the sluttiest of all countries on earth, but damn, if it isn’t more fun to ply your groin trade in a foreign country. Go abroad. And go for it.

Tianna Ta – Vietnam

Call it a cliche, but Vietnam truly is filled with hotties waiting to be…well, filled. The “me so horny, love you long time” chick from Full Metal Jacket actually does sum up the women in a country built on massages with happy endings and sweating from walking a block. The only reason we stayed in the Vietnam War for so long was because of the chicks. You heard it here first. Seriously.

Claudia Schiffer – Germany

We knew Germany was the place to score when we walked down Main Street Berlin at 8:00 AM and saw how many hot chicks were out on their balconies…naked. And their local newspapers showcase a topless gal every week. Oh, and the sex trade there sees almost two billion dollars every year. The naked gals also are slightly on the controlling side — not that we are judging — and that is A-OK in our book. The challenge now is finding the quickest flight to Berlin…

Miri Hanai – Japan

Know what the second largest industry in Japan is? Sex. True fact. (note: we have no idea what the first industry is.) There is nothing lost in translation about jumping into the sack in this country. Japanese girls enjoy mini-skirts and popsicles — two things we applaude them for. They may be crazy smarter than you, but they will still sign up for a roll in the hay quicker than, say, Canadian girls. Their sex clubs are f’ing legendary. Yeah. You’re turning Japanese at the prospects.

Monica Bellucci – Italy

It’s not just the wine that makes this an easy place to score a babe. These chicks are oozing with sexuality and not in a tease-sort-of-way. They mean business — the business of giving it up. A not-too-distant poll has showed even old-ass Italians are doing good work between the sheets on a regular basis. So just imagine what the women in their prime are doing. And that can only be a positive in your log book for when you visit there.

Amanda Braun – Russia

amanda braun

More and more dance clubs keep opening in Russia as they get further and further away from the tight grip of Communism. And from our research, the women are not keeping a tight grip on their nether regions. This is a country where 25% of the citizens have admitted to having sex while driving. And we thought ‘driving stick shift’ was just a clever play on words. Must have been the restrictions of Communism that has now caused all the ladies to embrace their inner harlet. Who knew we would eventually thank Communism for something?

Ana Beatriz Barros – Brazil

This country is the home of waxing it all and the barely-there thong, so these girls have bedroom activities entrenched in their genes. And 98% of them are smoking hot. Rio is a hotbed of hotties looking for a hookup, which is why it is one of the most popular vacation spots for men. Just erase from your mind the fact that Two Girls, One Cup was made here. Our gag reflex just got stronger.

Aishwarya Rai – India

This used to be a country of multiple-fabric-wearing chicks that worshipped animals, but has seen a sexual revolution of late. They learn to dance (aka, grind) from an early age and also keep in great shape just from not eating junk food. Another little known fact about Indian women who also practice Hindu…the bindi (red dot) on their forehead? It’s a bullseye. Trust us.

Cintia Dicker – Switzerland

Prostitution is legal. And some of the hookers even take credit cards. Don’t leave home without them. That’s the first positive. Also, most of these ladies are hot and have big boobs. This just keeps getting better, huh? Switzerland is a fence-sitter when it comes to international policy but clearly on the slut side of things when it comes to knockin’ boots. In a 2005 poll, the average Swiss gal gave it up 104 times per year, but 38% of those claimed to want it more frequently. On the sixth day, God created a place called Switzerland. We want to go to there.