According to The New York Times, Donald Trump’s campaign has a mere $1.3 million in the bank. Which is pretty low for a serious presidential candidate. Here are 8 things Trump’s campaign cannot afford:

1. Dog collar.
These dog collars are valued at $3.2 million, so if Trump has a campaign dog, don’t expect it to be sporting one of these. Instead, look for it to be wearing a fake one. Or a plain dog collar from like Petland or something.


2. Six Hillary Clinton speeches.
Hillary charges a cool $250K for an appearance, including a speech. Good thing Trump doesn’t have to foot the bill for those potential debates with her.

3. 17 commercials during The Apprentice.
NBC charges $81,000 per commercial during new episodes of the show. This means that even if Trump wanted to devote all of the commercial time on one episode of his show to his campaign, he couldn’t.

4. A recorded song with Kanye West, with Kim Kardashian in the studio.
Kanye has said he charges a million bucks for an appearance, and his wife charges anywhere from $750,000 to $1 million per appearance. Which means Kanye probably won’t be the voice behind Trump’s campaign song.

5. Gold toilet.
King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia paid $3 million for his flushing machine. Trump’s campaign couldn’t afford the lid on that thing.


6. Two gold Monopoly board games.
With a price of $1 million per set, Trump might have to find a new game to play. Like Boggle. Or Sorry!

7. One-bedroom apartment at Trump Tower.
The cheapest apartment at the New York City skyscraper with his name on it costs $2.2 million. Looks like he’ll have to choose somewhere else for Trump for President HQ.

8. A Presidential nomination???
Stay tuned on this one…