Anyone who thinks Disney World is just for kids may not have much of an imagination. With the Florida resort spanning acres of land packed with loads of activities, it’s easy for adults to have their own version of fun at the long-famous theme park and resort. Eight great ideas for having an R-rated blast range from silly to downright illegal, but all guarantee you’ll be laughing all the way home (once you get out of the county jail, that is).
Start a flash mob. All those lines and waiting can be a bit too organized for wilder adult tastes. Throw it all into chaos by starting a flash mob in the middle of Magic Kingdom Park. Post signs throughout the park or set up an online event for everyone to meet in an obvious location and pick an activity that’s sure to create plenty of noise and random running (unlike the lame-o flash mob pictured).
Play Prince Charming. Romantic adults can leverage the benefits of Magic Kingdom’s Cinderella castle with a bit of character acting. Mother-in-law in tow? Got your evil stepmother at the ready? For an X-rated version of the fairy tale, try some topless dancing on Cinderella’s Royal Table where families are “invited to dine like royalty.”
Skinny dip in Disney World’s Typhoon Lagoon Water Park. With two water parks on the premises, you can go for X-rated versions of fun with a little skinny dipping. Typhoon Lagoon has the added benefit of those really fast water slides. This can add one more thrill to the naked water park experience, provided your bum doesn’t stick to the plastic slide.
Swim with sharks. While you’re skinny dipping at Typhoon Lagoon, you may as well make it all the way to the shark tank. Guests are invited to snorkel with “real sharks!” in what the sign calls a safe experience. If you really got balls, try it naked. If you’d prefer to keep them, perhaps you want to throw your bathing suit back on.
Stick your head in a crocodile mouth. If sharks are not your thing, you always have the chance to get up close and personal with a Nile crocodile. Disney World’s Wild Africa Trek can be the place to do it, as long as you can out-connive the tour guide that will probably be breathing down your neck. If you can’t make it over to the crocodiles on the scene, you can always try sticking your head in the mouth of a much-closer hippo or rhino.
Hold a séance. Disney World’s Haunted Mansion has long been one of the coolest attractions at Magic Kingdom and you can make it even cooler by channeling some real ghosts into the deal. This may work especially well if one of your traveling companions was recently deceased, thanks to the stupid act of putting his head in a crocodile mouth.
Bring bottle rockets. If you manage to sneak weapon-like items into the theme park, make it count. Bottle rockets and other personal pyrotechnic devices can add pizzazz to the fireworks display Disney World features on a regular basis. Get your timing and your hiding spot right, and you may even be able to pull it off unnoticed.
Get kinky in a spaceship. More X-rated fun can be yours at Disney World’s Epcot Center. The theme park features a motion simulator ride called Mission: Space and it may be fun to experience the anti-gravity effects with different activities. For more traditional folks less prone to lewd displays of affection, you can always bring along a Thermos of Tang and just ride the ride like the kids do.