Sometimes you’re single and you want to go out. But a lot of times when you’re single and you go out, you wish like hell you had a girlfriend you could just stay home with. This is because most destinations for bachelors don’t cater to the joys of relationship freedom. That’s why we’ve compiled this list of cities where having an attachment of the opposite sex would only hinder the possibilities. Embrace bachelordom and don’t be afraid to step out of the corner and strut your stuff on the proverbial dance floor.

New Orleans

Two words: Mardi Gras. Shiny, multi-colored beads and Bourbon Street go together like Heinz Ketchup and pretty much anything. Never has it been easier to get a girl to show you her assets, and her friend’s assets, too. They don’t want money, and they don’t want alcohol. All they want are those cheap plastic strands around your neck that you found laying in a stagnant pool of beer. It’s the currency of the gods!

ready for mardi gras 2008 – Watch more Funny Videos

Houston

According to a Trojan survey, Houston is the most sexually active city in America. They’re doing the horizontal line dance (is that a thing?) down in Houston an average of 3 times per week. Not a bad average, if you ask us. Statistics are comforting and trust-worthy, so why not go peruse a town where the numbers add up.

New York City

3,800 bars inhabit the city of New York, and that means plenty alcohol flows through the bustling streets that never sleep. With so many options, one is sure to find a suitable watering hole that serves up both strong cocktails and delicate females. The best part is if the first bar you visit proves to be a dud you can head on over to one of the 3,799 other ones. The bridge and tunnel ladies are waiting….

New York City nightlife has no shame. ProjectMech.com – Watch more Funny Videos

Boston

Boston is home to over 40 colleges and universities. Here comes those comforting statistics again. It’s really just a numbers game in Boston. Cruise Lansdowne Street after 10PM with an air of confidence and charm and the college girls will come buzzing like flies. You could snag one from Connecticut, Ohio, or even Seattle. It’s a diverse grab bag of ladies ripe for the picking, and they’ll all be very appreciative when you buy them a beer.        

Chicago


Playboys Chicago Casting Calls – Watch more Funny Videos

Chicago has Midwest sensibilities and a big city feel. That means less bullshit, more sincerity, and just as much fun.   Not to mention deep dish pizza! You can grab a slice at Gino’s East, grab a girl on Rush Street, and bring them both to the top of the Sears Tower to get an amazing view of the city from the glass box overlooks.

Washington D.C.

The Nation’s Capital has one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country. Hang out near Capital Hill and find yourself a young political aide who’s too concerned about advancing in her career to worry about relationships. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to occasionally let loose… In these stressful times we all need a release, and that applies double for the folks floundering in the bottomless pit that is our economy. What this all means? One night of wild, uninhibited sex. Thank you stock market crash.

Austin

A very cool, lively city full of artists, musicians, and designers, oh my! Go during South by Southwest and get a real taste of what Austin has to offer. You can drop into film festivals, concerts, and then party on 6th Street. The massive UT student body is sure to keep things rockin’, rollin’, and bull ridin’ all night long.

Las Vegas

It’s Las Vegas. You can drink on the street, prostitution is legal, and every despicable, degrading, jaw-dropping thing you do there apparently stays there. Unless of course someone you know sees you and that said person has access to the internet and social networks. Then you might be screwed – in a bad way.

Los Angeles

The City Of Angels has the highest percentage of single folks than any other city in the country. That’s a bigger jackpot than Vegas. You could throw a stone from the Hollywood Hills and crack at least a few single people in the head. Then you can select the sexiest one and carry them unconscious to the emergency room where your romantic and heroic tale of how you saved their life begins. Los Angeles: where dreams based on lies come true everyday.