9 Sexiest Secretaries

Secretary’s Day is  April 21st, but these sexy secretaries work hard all year round. There’s something about the buttoned down business professional that takes care of all your business that is so alluring. It’s like she’s your wife away from home.

There’s been a movement away from this in the last decade – in fact it’s not called Administrative Professional’s Day, technically. But we’re here to embrace the old-school girls – the ones that embraced their femininity. The ones that tricked, kissed, and otherwise slunk their way into whatever they wanted. Here’s the hottest Hollywood secretaries:

9. Silken Floss – Scarlett Johansson

Silken Floss is actually more of an administrative professional – she has a degree in physics and acts as counsel and aid to the nefarious Octopus. She’s a star of the first-comic-then-movie, “The Spirit.” She was played by Scarlett Johannson, and despite her obvious third reich fashion statements, we can’t help but wish she’d collate and alphabetize our files regarding world domination…any day.

8. Miss Stone – Halle Berry

Halle Berry played the sexy secretary, Miss Stone, in the 1994 live action film adaptation of The Flintstones to much leapord-spotted acclaim. She brought an undeniable, smoldering sexuality to a cartoon for little kids. Is that sexy? It feels somewhat wrong, but it feels a great deal more right.

7. Pam Beesly – Jenna Fischer

Pam Beesly, the perfectly mousy secretary from the U.S. version of The Office has that undeniably attractive balance of quiet sarcasm. She’s tolerant enough to put up with Michael’s shenanigans, but she’s witty and sharp enough to dress him down when he needs to be. She would be the perfect girlfriend. She could make fun of her own friends to you but keep you from doing it to their face. Flawless victory.

6. Andy Sachs – Anne Hathaway

A plucky young thing in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada,” Andy Sachs is a go-getting journalism major who wants to work for Satan herself. We assume. Never actually seen that movie, but we have a feeling that Anne Hathaway battling the Least Favorite Son of God, is a lot better than anything the movie posters suggested. Anway, she’s a foxsplosion, and she is on this list.

5. Cerie Xerox – Katrina Bowden

So ditzy you want to take her behind the middle school and get her pregnant, as Tracy Jordan would say. Played by the svelte and sexy Katrina Bowden, Cerie Xerox is the subject of every nerd fantasy both on the cast and on our side of the screen. Playing the entitled NY bombshell, she’s the kind of girl that is super far out of your league, but might be dumb enough to playing a little farm league ball if you play it just right.

4. Pepper Pots – Gwyneth Paltrow

Pepper Pots is Tony Stark’s (a.k.a. Ironman) personal assistant, secretary, and just-moments-from-kissing eternal flame. Not only does she have the same sort of “I’ll take care of you, you idiot,” savoir faire as Pam Beesly, but she’s a redhead! She’s got technical knowhow, she helped to battle Obadiah in the final scene of Ironman 1, and there’s rumors of a very foxy fight scene to come in Iron Man 2. We are locked and loaded.

3. Selina Kyle – Michelle Pfeiffer

This is an empowered woman. And, all it took to get this kitty to show her claws was a drop from a 12 story window at the hands of the pause-talking Max Schreck. After that this foxy feline got friendly with the bat, the penguin, and just about anybody else that got in the way of her getting to her cream. You gotta love a woman with ambition.

2. Joan Holloway – Christina Hendricks

An obvious allusion by name to the number one entry on this list, Joan Holloway was *this* close to securing the number one spot on this list. She’s got curves, she’s a redhead, she’s got class, she’s the perfectly demure, painted secretary to accompany the stolid, idyllic, Dom Draper. Add to that her being named Esquire’s most attractive woman in the world recently, and you’ve got a red-hot recipey for one of Hollywood’s hottest secretaries.

1. Lee Holloway – Maggie Gyllenhaal

Duh. Lee Holloway, the damaged, cutting, self-effacing masochist of the indie hit gone mainstream, “The Secretary.” She makes her way out of a mental hospital and finds herself in the dark leather confines of a strapped-down law office where her boss, played by James Spader, teaches her the life-affirming nature of a dominant-submissive relationship. It’s weird. But we cannot look away. See? 

 

 

 

 

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