Apple to Spin off Mammals division

Apple, in a brilliant business move, has decided to spin off their mammals division and break it off as an individual company. Apple has owned the website mammals.org and had a non publicized division for many years, creating much speculation as to what they planned to do with the name and development team. They have also owned iPhone.org for the same amount of time but most of the general public knows where that is headed. Our sources, a friend of the friend of Kevin Rose’s cousin has informed us that Apple will start mass producing small portable animals that can be carried in a backpack or a purse. The animals will be bred through cloning by Panasonic and will be capable of mating with other iMammals through bluetooth technology. In reaction to past battery life criticism, Apple has bred these small mammals to have an incredible lifespan with most of them living from 15-20 years. The first batch of animals will come with fur of pink, blue, silver, with a special female version of a miniature squirrel coming out in red. All proceeds from the squirrel will go to local “Residential Wildlife” programs. The picture to the left is the first iMammal that will be released called the Wozzy. Apple, being the wise innovators, have come up with mammal safe packaging that is twice the size of the packaging that got the sellers of the bonsai kitten in trouble. It has also been learned that Apple will guarantee the live delivery of all their mammals and will replace any mammals that are dead after the packages are open. In the case of unsold animals they will have local representative in every store replacing all unsold mammals with fresh new stock every 60 days. We are expecting to hear more about this at MacWorld but until then you can go to mammals.org to find out more information.

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