Archives for September 2008

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Are Dead Cats Just Bouncing Today?

Wall Street has a bunch of wacky phrases to explain away even the simplest of stock movements. We did a list of 6 of the most ridiculous ones, but we left off the 'dead cat bounce' idea. This notion interprets that the day after a massive selloff (like yesterday's 777) will see a moderate an temporary rise before resuming its downward movement. The full phrase explains this phenomenon by saying ...

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The Biggest Point Drop Since…Ever

Take a look at the Dow today during it's record-breaking 777.68 point loss. See that moment around 1:45 pm EST when the hearts of every bailout supporter were broken? Ouch. Although the Dow now tops this list of the greatest net losses in history, we're still a long way off from denting the Top 10 Greatest Percentage losses with barely over 7% lost today. Most of the reason for this is beca ...

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What Up, ‘Hotties-In-The-Background’?

CNBC has figured out that there is no better way to spice up the bailout coverage than having some hotties nonchalantly walk behind a live shot at Universal Studios. Julia Boorstin, who is decent enough on her own but nothing to write home about, was asking some pretty mundane questions of passing tourists about the proposed bailout. Of course no one liked the idea of paying $700 billion to res ...

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Ratigan Explains Markets With Sushi

Dylan Ratigan, the slickest guy in a suit on CNBC who also happens to share the same name as the evil villain in Disney's The Great Mouse Detective, made a not-so-prophetically astute observation today. In describing how no one wants to invest in the financial markets anymore: "It's like all the big banks decided to go out to a sushi restaurant together and then sat down and said 'We don't wan ...

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Failout On The Bailout

In a big shocker, the House voted down the $700 billion revamped bailout plan, which was previously thought to have enough votes to pass until Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi gave a very 'partisan' and 'heated' soliloquy which caused many Republican to sour on the idea of voting for this thing. Not sure if that's entirely true, but all of the guys walking out of that room who changed their vo ...

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They Pulled ‘$700 Billion’ Out Of A Hat

How did this little factoid get lost in the shuffle? Apparently last Tuesday, amid all the ruckus of bailout news being shoved down our throats, we all neglected to take heed of one little paragraph in a Forbes article: "In fact, some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt, are fuzzy. "It's not based on any particular data point," a T ...

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The Newest Failboat: Wachovia

Yeah, I know these are getting old by now, but isn't that the point? How many more banks have to collapse and get bought-out before we can just go on with our little lives? Turns out while lawmakers were scurrying around Washington hatching out that big bailout deal this weekend, execs at Wachovia were realizing how much they suck. It must have been a tough realization, but they were consoled n ...

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The Bailout Protests: Suits Vs. Hippies

Yesterday on Wall Street there was a bit of a scuffle between some banker dude and some glasses-and-beard wearing protester. Judging from this image, they're not discussing the finer points of whether the bailout would benefit Main street or just Wall Street. But rather, it seems more like a "Stop ruining our economy!"/"Get a job!"-type fracas. "Bailout = Bullsh*t" with the Merrill Lynch ...

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The Paulson Conspiracy Theory

The guys at Holy Taco have a theory for Paulson really wants to do with the $700 bi lion. I have to be honest, I totally saw this coming. Check out the full story here. Also, check out how Baldie has the check stamped 9/23/08. I knew this whole 'failed' bailout thing was a scam.

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Oh Crap, Erin Burnett Is Losing It!

I'm not really sure what sent her over the edge this morning. Was it the pressure of reporting the largest bank failure in the country's history? Was it Chris Matthews continuous creepy advances? Fed up with Jim Cramer? Or just some loser cameraman screwing up? You be the judge in this video: Erin Burnett Loses It - Watch more free videosvia TvAnchorBabes

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8 WaMu Commercials That Seem Funny Now

We've done this twice before when Merrill Lynch was bought by BofA and when AIG sold itself to Uncle Sam, but I have to say, doing this WaMu list was by far the most fun. Their advertising was all over the place! Between those ridiculous 'whoo hoo!' spots, the ones with the 'Bankers' Pen', and even the ones where they showed how 'easy' it was to get a home loan, they're all epic losers in my eyes. ...

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The American Failboat Armada

Here's the major 3. Feel free to add AIG, Fannie, Freddie and Merrill at your leisure. 1.) The one that started it all. When Bear Stearns failed and was bought out by JP Morgan on March 14, 2008, it became the first of many disasters stemming from over reliance on subprime loans and the mortgage industry. You might even call this the clarion call that announced our impending doom. The Titanic o ...

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JP Morgan Gets Washington Mutual: JP MorgAmWu?

CNBC is reporting that the FDIC will seize WaMu and sell it to JP Morgan Chase. "Whoo hoo!" All the deets of the deal are supposed to be announced in an hour, but I just wanted to be the first to put the WallStreetFighter stamp of approval on the potential post-buyout name offering: JP MorgAmWu. Yep, you've heard it here first. Who wouldn't want to entrust their life's savings with an instituti ...

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How Hong Kong Banks Avoid These Problems

You may not have heard how a giant Hong Kong bank narrowly avoided a massive bank run earlier this week by acting quickly and effectively to calm down those panicking about the markets. The reason you didn't hear about it? Because it was successful. Now if only we could learn something from this... We spoke with a reporter from a Hong Kong news outlet covering the crisis on Wall Street last wee ...

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Burger King: “Go To Hell, Ice Cream Men!”

Burger King has had a tough run recently due to dumb employees bathing in their sinks, the need to cut prices due to a consumer-led recession, and inexplicably running out of 'meet'. I'm not sure I can really relate this to the bailout right now, but the message is clear. Ice cream men better watch the eff out! You've been warned. I think this commercial could have went a lot further and elicited ...

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“No Bailout!” Protests Hit The Street

There's nothing like a little $700 billion bailout proposal to get people mobilizing. Possibly the most expensive 'rallying cry' ever? A simple, over-the-top, September 11th-comparison-filled e-mail has started the movement for a large demonstration near Wall Street today (scheduled to be held near where all those tourists like to play with bull testicles). The main grievances voiced in this pr ...

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The Sad State Of Dick Fuld

The New York Post is reporting today on the 11th hour deals Lehman Bros. CEO Dick Fuld was trying to make before the bankruptcy filing. Apparently he made a call to a personal friend, General Electric CEO Jeff Immelt in the hopes of GE taking a huge 20% share of Lehman to keep it alive. Immelt wisely passed on that option. And although he hasn't been seen publicly since all this mess went do ...

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Would You Like Your Order On ‘Terrorist Bread’?

Interesting AP report on this strange military-themed restaurant in Beirut, Lebanon.Like most people, I'm a big fan of themed-restaurants, but this one goes above and beyond all other practical ideas. Not only is Beirut a pretty dangerous place to have a business, but the guys at Buns And Guns (motto: A Sandwich CAN Kill You) wear army helmets and full camo while they cook, have sand bags protecti ...

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Should Our Economic Problems Postpone A Presidential Debate?

Sometimes I feel like there are 3 major candidates running for office this November. There's Senator Obama, Senator McCain, and the much talked about U.S. economy. Each one is vying for the same major headlines and the same amount of respect among the American voters. But an interesting question has arisen today as McCain announced he would like to postpone the scheduled, and much-anticipated f ...

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Covering Up Cheerleaders Is Bad Business

University of Idaho Vandals Football was embroiled in some controversy this week when it announced it would be getting rid of their 'too skimpy' cheerleader outfits (above) in favor of something more modest. According to the school's dean of students, many fans complained that the new cheerleading outfits were too revealing. They will now delve into a $3,000 'private fund' to buy the cheerleade ...

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Weekly Write-Off Caption Contest

Greetings, beloved WSF readers. We wanted to try out a new idea for a weekly feature. We'll post an image with no further comment or explanation and see who can come up with the cleverest and most amusing caption to describe it. Feel free to use quotes, links, movie references, and curse words at will. Let your imaginations run wild. Submit all captions as a comment to the post. We may not be the ...

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The Top 18 New Money Management Sites

With the average debt in the United States rapidly rising, many individuals are looking for a better way to manage their bank accounts, credit cards, savings and investments. While there are lots of software solutions available, cutting edge Web 2.0 technology has given rise to many new money management tools and services that make keeping track of personal finances easy. However, don't let all th ...

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Hank And Bens Most Epic Fail

Today Secretary of the Treasury (Baldie), Hank Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman (Beard-o), Ben Bernanke got called out hardcore by both the Senate Banking Committee and this punk from the crowd. Someone needs to get this guy a guest-posting spot over at Failblog right away. Baldie and Beard-o were under the gun today defending their proposed $700 billion plan to bailout the entire financial ...

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The New Penny: A Total Waste Of Money?

Next year marks the 200th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln's birth, and to honor his legacy, the U.S. mint has decided to release an update to the 100-year-old design of the existing penny coin. The new commemorative coin will feature the same side profile of Lincoln on the front, but will have 4 alternate images on the back. Shown above, the four images represent: (1.) Lincoln's rea ...

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Overuse Of The Word ‘Depression’ Is Getting Depressing

Gawker.com put together this interesting little chart of all the times the media has used the word 'recession' vs. 'depression' recently. I'm assuming they searched for depression used in a financial sense, otherwise maybe people are just depressed about rumors that Miley Cyrus will quit Hannah Montana, or whatever else it is people get depressed about non-fiscally these days. In my opinion ...

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Strip Clubs Having A Tough Time

It's interesting to look at how the Wall Street crisis influences so many different sectors of the economy. The NY Post had a short item in this morning's paper about strip clubs being affected. Wow, they have truly mastered the power of alliteration: WALL Street's financial crisis has trickled down to Manhattan's mammary meccas. A source tells us jiggle joints all over the city are seeing a d ...

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Tell Me More About This ‘Rape-based’ Economy…

Don't take this as any type of political endorsement, I'm staying out of that thing. Watch your attack ad montages somewhere else. I merely think the economic ideas put forward in this new cartoon video from 'Get Your War On' might be just what we need for this new financial landscape devoid of the traditional major investment banks. Gotta think outside the box, baby.

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Wall Street Uses More Booze To Cope With Collapse

The alcohol business is one of the few industries that improves sales during times of economic hardship. We even postulated that liquor and beer might be recession-proof, but now some hard evidence has emerged showing that Wall Street is really reaching for that bottle after last week's mess. And who can blame them? Crain's New York quoted some Manhattan liquor stores talking about their increa ...

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The End Of Wall Street?

First Coney Island closed for good, then Yankee Stadium shut off the lights, and now another venerable New York City institution is being called dead -- Wall Street, as we know it. (Don't worry, we're going to keep 'fighting' it in its new incarnation). All the talk of Wall Street being no more comes from the news that Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, the last two standing major investment ban ...

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