Archives for 2008

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Chuck E. Cheeses Fight Club

What's going on with all these fights at Chuck E. Cheese's lately? The WSJ has a lengthy feature story analyzing the trend of police getting called to local Chuck E. Cheese's franchises to break up fights. Who would have thought a child-oriented birthday party location with pizza, ball pits, and arcade games would cause such a ruckus? The WSJ unleashes one of the greatest paragraphs in all o …

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The Truth About Maria Bartiromo And Joey Ramone

Ever since I first heard this Ramone's song about Maria Bartiromo, I wondered why the hell they did it. Watch this video to see how Maria tells the story of her secret life with the one and only Joey Ramone:Maria Bartiromo on Joey Ramone from Broadcasting & Cable on Vimeo.

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Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all in the United States and to all those who don't celebrate this fine holiday.....Happy Thursday. The bird didn't quite come out like I thought so I'm going to have to take the day off to try again.  I think this time I'm not going to cook it in the fireplace.

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Our 22 Favorite Hank Paulson Pictures

There is a lot of speculation about who will replace Hank Paulson as the next Secretary of the Treasury. Especially during the financial crisis, the position has taken on a new amount of weight, authority, and importance. Did you know the Secretary of the Treasury is 5th in line to become the Commander In Chief if the Prez is assassinated or resigns? Surprisingly high, right? Well, join us on a …

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If All Movies Had Cell Phones

If every one of our cinematic classics had a cell phone or mobile internet device we could get them in and over with in no time. Save everyone a lot of valuable time, maybe even cram 30 or 50 'movies' into a single sitting. It could single-handedly revolutionize the movie industry. Just think of all the great product placement we could do with the phones... Genius!

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Is Giving Away Free Stuff On Election Day Good For Business?

Starbucks is giving out a free cup of coffee, Ben & Jerry's will offer a free scoop of ice cream, Krispy Kreme will give you a donut, Babeland is offering a free sex toy for men and women, and a plethora of local watering holes are giving away a free beer to all discerning citizens who cast their vote today. But does giving away free merchandise on Election Day really promote a business or jus …

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The Scariest Jack-O-Lantern

If the classic pumpkin carving patterns just don't do the trick for you anymore, you might want to check out this video: Personally, this year I'm going with an actual-size CEO of Countrywide Mortgage Angelo Mozilo carving for my Jack-O-Lantern. His ugly mug alone will probably scare my neighbors into foreclosure. Besides, you can't ask for a better match to his skin tone. You really can't, I …

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The ‘Sex Rod’ Case Gets Resolved

Since the Boston Red Sox don't have to worry about any of that pesky 'playing in the World Series' nonsense, they can fully devote their attention to other, more pressing matters. Like the 'Sex Rod' case. An interesting copyright/patent case for the ages. The background is that back in July of 2005, Brad Francis Sherman from New York, (which I'm sure didn't help the matter at all. Although in t …

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A Profound WaMu Fail

A few weeks ago WaMu failed and sold its soul to JP Morgan. I really appreciate the Zen-like quality of this one: Seriously, did they only pay a quarter of the electric bill too? Things must be really rough for them. via failblog

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A “Sad Trader” Image In The Making

I've figured out the winning recipe for capturing an epic 'Sad Trader' image (e.g. the 'Sad Guys On Trading Floors' blog, and as the accompanying photo for every stock market disaster story in print publications): ♦  1 part great location (outside the New York Stock Exchange) ♦  2 parts photographer (must have telephoto lens, backpack full of camera gear, sports jacket, and a goofy bandanna) …

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Is There Some Sort Of Metaphor Here?

The liveblog rolls on! To continue with our theme of talking to some of Wall Street's least influential people, I asked this guy what he was spraying. His response: "Blood!"* So there ya go, take that for what it's worth. A proximity shot after the jump. *He actually said 'dirt', but does he really expect us to believe that with all the turmoil down here these days?

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Weekly Write-Off Caption Contest

It's that time of the week again. Here is this week's caption contest. We post an image with no further comment or explanation and see who can come up with the cleverest and most amusing caption to describe it. Feel free to use quotes, links, movie references, and curse words at will. Let your imaginations run wild. Submit all captions as a comment to this post. The winner will be announced at …

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Do We Really Want The “Wall Street” Movie Sequel?

Surprisingly, 20th Century Fox announced yesterday they are 'moving forward' with their sequel to the 1987 film, Wall Street. The movie, which epitomized what it was like on Wall Street during those 'greed is good days' of the 80s, also created the character of Gordon Gekko. Michael Douglass has said that he will reprise his role as the main character if the script is good enough. The projec …

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Those Pranksters Are At It Again

Those vandals who spray-painted the Wall Street bull's balls a painful shade of blue last week are at it again. This time it appears that it is Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, who will need a quick power-wash to avoid further humiliation. Jeez, cut the guy some slack, people. You have no idea how much chafing his lustrous silver beard is causing right now.

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Remembering The Good Old Days

It'll be a while before we see scenes, or cartoon depictions of scenes, like this again. During the current financial crisis, you'd be more inclined to hear: "James and I are fleeing to a remote area of the wilderness in order to escape the massive amounts of debt we acquired."

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Best Wall Street Jokes From Last Nights SNL

Last night Saturday Night Live started doing its new live Thursday night 'Weekend Update' show. I suppose they're just brimming with presidential debate impressions that they wanted to get out before Saturday comes around. Gotta stay relevant, I guess. (btw, Fred Armisen's impression of Obama makes me want to gouge out my eyes.) Anyway, I was impressed with some of their material on Wall Street an …

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New Weird Al Song Satirizes Recession

As if the recession needed any further satire? Anyway, Weird Al is back and after killin' it with his last spoof, he's coming after both our deflated purchasing power as a result of the weak economy and Clifford Joseph Harris Jr., better known as the rapper T.I. It's also interesting to note that this marks Weird Al's first single written exclusively for the internet. The times are definitely chan …

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Weekly Write-Off Caption Contest

It's that time of the week again. Here is this week's caption contest. We post an image with no further comment or explanation and see who can come up with the cleverest and most amusing caption to describe it. Feel free to use quotes, links, movie references, and curse words at will. Let your imaginations run wild. Submit all captions as a comment to this post. The winner will be announced at …

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Who Else Deserves A Punch In The Face?

Although it would seem that we’re all about assaulting Wall Street executives, what with our violent and awesome URL, the truth is we prefer a calmer approach to dealing with some of the nastiness on the Street. However, all non-punching options seemed to go out the window when it was confirmed yesterday that, yes, Dick Fuld CEO of Lehman Brothers was punched square in the face while working out a …

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Sexiest Singers

It has been said that music is the language of love, and that music can soothe the savage beast. But it has probably always been the case that a beautiful woman can make any song sound sweeter. Here are the pop divas who are both ear--and eye--candy. ShakiraMost Popular Song: “Hips Don’t Lie,” Laundry ServiceWhy She’s Hot: Proving that big things do come in small packa …

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Does Anyone Notice Her Beautiful Hair First?

I can't understand how this new Pantene Pro-V ad from Brazil was designed for women. There's just something about it that screams "Hey males, look at me!" Can't put my finger on it. I literally spent hours scouring this poster for some indication of what it was trying to say. After my careful research, I realized there is a little brown colored circle near her ear that says in Portuguese, "Make …

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These ‘McCain Potatoes’ Ads Are Very Misleading

Plastered all over the NYTimes.com this morning are these ads for McCain potatoes. Let the confusion begin. You see, McCain, the Canadian food company that specializes in potato products which include sweet potato fries, trans-fat free frozen french fries, and the oh-so-adorable smile fries, has launched a major ad campaign to capitalize on all the Decision 2008 Election News with Republican ca …

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“Its A Great Time To Invest!”

Further evidence that everything Alec Baldwin touches turns to gold.Does anyone imagine his character in this old SNL commercial parody to be the same guy he played in Glengarry Glen Ross only after he got his full morning enema?Hot Stock Tip: Reliable Investments seems totally solid.

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Weekly Write-Off Caption Contest

It's that time of the week again. Here is this week's caption contest. We post an image with no further comment or explanation and see who can come up with the cleverest and most amusing caption to describe it. Feel free to use quotes, links, movie references, and curse words at will. Let your imaginations run wild. Submit all captions as a comment to this post. The winner will be announced at …

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8 WaMu Commercials That Seem Funny Now

We've done this twice before when Merrill Lynch was bought by BofA and when AIG sold itself to Uncle Sam, but I have to say, doing this WaMu list was by far the most fun. Their advertising was all over the place! Between those ridiculous 'whoo hoo!' spots, the ones with the 'Bankers' Pen', and even the ones where they showed how 'easy' it was to get a home loan, they're all epic losers in my eyes. …

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The Sad State Of Dick Fuld

The New York Post is reporting today on the 11th hour deals Lehman Bros. CEO Dick Fuld was trying to make before the bankruptcy filing. Apparently he made a call to a personal friend, General Electric CEO Jeff Immelt in the hopes of GE taking a huge 20% share of Lehman to keep it alive. Immelt wisely passed on that option. And although he hasn't been seen publicly since all this mess went do …

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Weekly Write-Off Caption Contest

Greetings, beloved WSF readers. We wanted to try out a new idea for a weekly feature. We'll post an image with no further comment or explanation and see who can come up with the cleverest and most amusing caption to describe it. Feel free to use quotes, links, movie references, and curse words at will. Let your imaginations run wild. Submit all captions as a comment to the post. We may not be the …

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Hank And Bens Most Epic Fail

Today Secretary of the Treasury (Baldie), Hank Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman (Beard-o), Ben Bernanke got called out hardcore by both the Senate Banking Committee and this punk from the crowd. Someone needs to get this guy a guest-posting spot over at Failblog right away. Baldie and Beard-o were under the gun today defending their proposed $700 billion plan to bailout the entire financial …

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8 AIG Commercials That Seem Funny/Inaccurate Now

I don't think there is a company whose commercials are more outrageously promising than AIG. They have been flooding the airwaves for the past two years, but whether they're featuring young, erudite grade schoolers showing surprisingly justified concern for financial planning, or some babies laughing their asses off at simple things, they all follow the same theme -- 'Don't worry AIG is the strong …