Archives for March 2008

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Why I’m Glad I’m Not a Girl

I love women. As Chris Rock said, my Mom's a woman but I sure am glad I don't have to live as one. Here are a few reasons why1. I don't have to buy new clothes to go to the doctor. I might watch what underwear I wear for a physical but that's about it. My wife said she was going to buy some clothes. I asked why she had to go today and couldn't wait until later in the week. She said "I have …

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The Ovarian Delight

Note to self: Make sure to force the gonads back into the pelvic area to cause the greatest pain.

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Hillary Scares Me More Than A Hairless Monkey

And I'm frickin terrified of hairless monkeys. What scares me lately is the way she will say anything and I mean anything, to try and get votes. Her speeches and press releases are like Law and Order SVU, made to match the headlines. Here's her latest Last week, Clinton released plans for a $30 billion emergency housing fund that would go to states and localities to help head off foreclosures. T …

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I’ve Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Chick but I’ve Woken Up With A Few

Sometimes I drink too much. I do it because it helps me meet girls. Inevitably though, something always goes wrong. I was having a great time with these older ladies but as usual, the ugly one can't hold her liquor It turns out that the issue of the school girls you met at the party being underage may not be the biggest problem you have. I knew things got wild last night but I had no ide …

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Let Them Eat Cake

In celebration of The Biggest Loser and the people that exercise and eat healthy, I present these great pics. I'm probably going to hell for posting them but I need the training for the heat after my Chicago Marathon meltdown last year.

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Did You Catch This Song From August Rush?

If I had a few million dollars I would buy this script and have an instant hit musical on Broadway. I guarantee a musical in the next few years based on this movie. Take a look at this video and check out the first guy Charlie Mack and the little girl. Incredible talents.

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I Hope This Catches On

This caught on in Japan and I'm hoping they catch on here. These skirts give the appearance of see thru but are just prints. Real or not real, I like.

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8 Tips in Life from the Shoe Shine Guy at McCormick Place

As I left the trade show at McCormick Place I had no idea that the best advice I would get would be the guy at the shoe shine booth. Each day I passed him he belted out a few words of wisdom to help me succeed in life. Who knew the difference between success and failure is a clean pair of shoes. I know better know. I thought I would share with you the most memorable.1. "You can't make no deals …

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These Drivers are Going To Kill You

You know it's funny, I always thought my car was simply for transporting me from one place to another. Sure, I like to enjoy a bit of music to entertain me on the journey but that's all about my brain can take and still be able to concentrate on the road ahead. Evidently these people are more skilled than I. If not, somebody's gonna die This guy is texting with both hands while he listens to hi …

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I Think We All Need To Laugh

Have Garmin or Apple in your portfolio? Maybe I can help. Here is my "go to" set of pictures that gets me feeling better. Let me know if they help. If the first couple don't I guarantee by the end you'll be feeling much better.