Dropping trou can be done by anyone because it doesn’t require more than being able to disrobe and run around. However, if you just gotta’ go bare-assed in front of a group of people, picking the place to do it is key to your streaking success. Behold: the best places to go streaking.
No better way to pledge your support/file a protest than to show your out-of-shape self in the raw to a bunch of politico-types. Preferably the event will be outdoors since more people will be there to witness your shortcomings. Wait until the headliner speaks — hopefully this will be a world leader of a major country — then drop ‘em and sprint across the stage. It helps if you linger in front of the TV cameras and yell something vague and pseudo-political like "Viva La Dolphins!" Just try not to get shot while displaying your Washington Monument.
Best locations: Washingto D.C., Baghdad
Celebrate what God gave you by sharing it with the rest of the congregation. There really is no best time to streak during a church service because every time is a good time. With any luck, it will be Easter Sunday and your entire family will be in attendance. When the spirit moves you, make a few loops around the room before joining the choir in all your nudeness. Can you get a witness? Yes. A whole congregation full of them.
Best locations: The Vatican
We would say a soccer game, but you actually want it to be televised in the US. Professional sports and streakers have gone hand-in-naked-hand for as long as anyone can remember and you should throw your hat — and pants — into the ring, too. We prefer to focus on professional football here since streaking at a pop warner game is just flat out creepy. Showing ass at a football game is some big nude-shoes to fill, so do it up right. Paint youself, one of the team’s emblems on your backside, or learn how to do cartwheels. And make sure it’s not during half time or in between quarters to maximize the amount of eyes on your junk.
Best locations: wherever the Super Bowl/World Cup is being held
Since taking a nude run in a public place will likely land you at the police station anyway, save them the trip. We all know cops have a great sense of humor when someone is breaking the law, so they will definitely be thrilled when you strip down and give them a skin show. Saturday nights are the best times to hit up the local precint with a streaking, because it’s typically the busiest night for them. We’re sure you can come up with your own night stick joke. Bonus, maybe you’ll meet a sexy, lady-cop that appreciates your whimsy (read: penis).
Best locations: NYPD
This place has it coming. They build a maze that is full of fun tunnels, hallways, and furniture to jump on to try and trap you in. Asses. Give them a naked, trapped version of yourself to deliver sweet justice. Depending on the day of the week, there is an estimated 2.4 million people in a single IKEA store at one time. That’s just our estimation, but probably acurate. We suggest doing a dry run before just to learn your way around, and where you can stash your clothes. For good measure, make sure to yell something about your Swedish meatballs as you dash down the aisles.
Best locations: They are all great, but if you don’t have one nearby, substitute a Wal-Mart
Nothing goes with a Bloomin’ Onion like a close up of your Down Under. Outback’s dim lighting, upbeat pop music, and ski lodge-esque interiors is primed for people to strip down and take a run. As you can imagine, Happy Hour or the weekend dinner rush would be the best time to let it all hang out. Outback is now open for lunch, too, giving you a few extra hours of naked possibilities each week.
Best locations: there’s a few in Jersey that needs some bare ass