Everyone’s got their go-to hangover cures—eating pizza before bed, indulging in carbs for breakfast to soak up the alcohol, drinking water between cocktails, chugging Pedialyte the next day, whatever. And by now you’re maybe smart enough to know that “hair of the dog” doesn’t actually work; it just delays the inevitable (sorry, we’re sad to say it, too).

But have you heard of these totally bizarre remedies from back in time and all around the world? If you’re bold enough to try them, you might just be able to get your ass outta bed.

1. Rub Lemon in Your Armpits
In Puerto Rico, few will be phased to see you scrubbing underneath your arms with lemon slices before going out. It’s supposed to prevent dehydration (and the ensuing throbbing headache). Bonus: It’ll make your deodorant citrus fresh.

2. Bury Yourself in Sand
As the Irish legend goes, you need to head down to the river and bury yourself in sand…

3. Eat Dried Bull Penis
If you can get past the thought of eating an animal’s penis, you can join Sicilians in this daring remedy. (Well, at least they used to do it back in the day.)

4. Perform Voodoo
Practitioners of voodoo in Haiti stab 13 pins into the cork of the bottle that sent them over the edge.

5. Swallow Fish Scrap Soup
Scrape up some fish scraps and add some lime juice, lemon juice, fish stock, garlic and ginger for a pungent soup. You better take care of your breathe soon after that though… It’ll probably smell worse than if you’d vomited away your hangover.

6. Close Your Eyes and Eat Some Eyes
For a cocktail that’ll make up for too many cocktails, combine tomato juice and pickled sheep’s eyes—it’s an ancient Mongolian tradition.

7. Use Your Sweat as Mouthwash
Certain Native American cultures will work up a sweat, collect said sweat, swirl said sweat around in their mouths and then spit said sweat out.

8. Munch on Some Horse Brain
In ancient China, people were known to eat small amounts of horse brain. Fortunately for you, only a very small amount is necessary to kick your hangover to the curb.

Photo: iStock/GeorgeRudy