A front page story on CNBC.com this afternoon heralds the oft-repeated mantra of investing overseas in times of domestic peril. We’re not talking just your typical French beret and croissant shops or German beer and pretzel factories though. No, the new wave of investment gains will come from those invested in Brazil, Russia, India, and China (Also known as the BRIC countries). And for the sake of easily fitting acronyms, Mexico, Chile, and Turkey are spelled out as an afterthought.

According to an analyst from Franklin Templeton mutual funds, most investors make an investment in a BRIC country with a 5-10 year goal of staying invested. With that time-line in place, most investors make significant gains at the end of that period.

The cutesy foreign acronyms continue when this advice is offered,

For those looking to invest in China, that means targeting three C’s, according to Tony Sagami of Harvest Advisors: Construction, cargo and “Chubbies,” which are that nation’s version of the young, urban professionals known in the US as “yuppies.”

Tony ‘the big Salami’ Sagami may have pinned the dragon, so to speak, with this insight. But to me “targeting a few Chubbies” sounds a lot like playing the role of the ‘wingman’ while your friend spends the night with Brazil.

Sagami ventures further out into metaphor land, adding that,

He favors Yum! Brands, the ubiquitous owner of KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell and other fast-food joints. The Chinese, eager to emulate the American dream of a pizza in every oven, are big customers of Yum restaurants.

A pizza in every oven is the American dream? Screw fast cars, 100-inch plasma screens, trophy wives, and diamond-studded grills. I dream of one day owning a modest home with 12 ovens, each cooking at least 3 pizzas.

CNBC: US Stocks Got You Down? Try the Emerging Markets, April 14, 2008