Something about the words “anal” and “sex” being anywhere near each other immediately creates an elephant in the room. It’s like this weird taboo that’s also kinky, and the general population just isn’t sure how to cope with it. Sure, sex is a private, intimate experience, but sex education is different. If we don’t talk about it, then we won’t know about all the safety stuff… or all the perks!

As a woman open about sex, who speaks with a lot of other women open about sex, I can tell you that we like toys. According to Planned Parenthood statistics, as many as one in three women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex, while as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty with orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone—so it’s no wonder we like to bring the B.O.B. (battery-operated boyfriend) into the bedroom.

But because of this fact, women don’t always have climax on the brain. Enter: anal beads.

Contrary to many men’s minds, you can’t just plug and play. This part of the body is extremely sensitive, and a woman giving a man access to it is pretty sacred stuff. So if it happens, it shouldn’t be taken for granted.

If you’re enticed by the idea of anal sex, but worried about it hurting you or your partner, anal beads are the sex toy for you. Though they sound and look kind of intimidating, they’re quite the opposite. Anal beads are a series of hard plastic or soft rubber balls that come molded as one piece or attached to each other by a string. The beads can be different sizes, starting small and getting progressively larger as you go up the string. There’s typically a larger loop that makes a handle at the end, which allows for the user to pull the beads out and keep them from slipping into the rectum.

For starters: Avoid cheap, low quality string versions, as their nylon connective cords are difficult to clean. Rod versions are best for beginners because they’re to the point and easy to clean. Just make sure you get beads with a handle or loop at the base for safe removal. The Trinity Anal Beads are an ideal size for beginners, since they start small.

Inserting anal beads alone can be a big turn on, but the idea behind them is that, as the anal beads are pulled out, they pass along the two-ringed sphincter muscles. This can evoke a series of pleasurable sensations. As with all anal sexual activity, it’s recommended to use sexual lubricant when using anal beads, since the rectum can be easily ripped, torn or injured.

Inserting them is also where the control comes in, which can be hot. Your partner is trusting you as the two of you communicate through gestures and eye contact to decide when’s enough. With only one anal bead capable of being inserted at a time, you can create boundaries with the user by telling them that they have to ask your permission before inserting another. As the receiver, you get to experience the slow sensation of insertion, how it feels once inserted, and what it’s like coming back out. If you feel any pain or discomfort, you either slow things down or stop.

Using anal beads issues a lot of build up, teasing and power in sex. That’s a recipe for one hell of a sexy experience.

Photo: iStock/400tmax