Ever enter a video game tournament? The nerdier some one looks, the more intimidating he is. The guy in the XXL sweat pants spent the last 3 years gaming, not dating. You don’t want to go up against him in Counter-Strike.

But, whether you’re playing in a competition or just with some friends, there’s one way to trump the system and have everybody living in fear of you. And that is the Ninja USB Controller for Playstation 2 and Playstation 3.

Glowing green LED eyes, Chinese stars, and fangs, This controller didn’t come neatly packaged in a box with the system you’re playing, like your pansy friend’s controller did. This was acquired from Shaolin Monks on the top of a fiery mountain after facing a demon dragon from hell. You bust this thing out and your competitors will silently pause the game and run to change their underpants. And while they’re gone, your controller will eat theirs and spit out its bones. Fully functional, and with better grip, The Ninja you’ll face any level and any foe with confidence. The controller is $25 and can be found here.