The giants of online auction are battling, but it sounds a lot like name-calling.

eBay sued yesterday for ‘diluting’ its 28% shareholder ownership of the company. Craigslist then fired back with some pointed blog postings and claimed the bad guys over at eBay were acting “unethically.”

Most of the real details are confidential in these court hearings, but let’s break down all the legal jargon we have heard into something more understandable:

eBay: Yo, we wanna hostile takeover you guys.

Craigslist: WTF?! No way.

eBay: Yes, way. You liberal hippies aren’t making any money for us. It’s time to start generating some profit from all those ‘trannies seeking trannies’ personal ads, or whatever the hell else you nerds do.

Craigslist: Remember how you thought you had 28% of us? Now make it 18%. Who’s hostile now?

eBay: That’s it, you’re getting sued!… in Delaware!

Craigslist: Why in Delaware? We’re both near San Francisco.

eBay: because you’re bitches, that’s why! whatevs.

Craigslist: Oh snap, I’m soooo writing a nasty post on my blog about you guys. Right above a picture of my dead cat!

eBay: bitch all you want, we’re coming for you. And that lame “.org” makes you look fat!

Craigslist: OMG NOO!!!

AP: EBay sues Craigslist over ownership stake, April 22, 2008

AP: Craigslist fires back, blasts eBay actions as unethical, April 23, 2008