After swiping right on each other, you enjoy a few texts back and forth and agree to meet at your favorite local restaurant—only to find out that she barely speaks in real life. While you carry on the conversation about your family, where you live and what you do, she utters no more than a few words the entire evening.
But before you decide to never call her again, consider the fact that she might just be an introvert. While you work things out verbally, she’s very much in her own head and perhaps not as communicative as you. That said, introverts and extroverts can mix (opposites attract); each just takes a different approach to life, and so you need to approach a new relationship differently.
Here are a few words of wisdom to deal with a potentially introverted chick.
1. Put your energy into listening.
As an extrovert, you speak in order to think, you feel the need to be heard, and you love interrupting. Instead, take the time to think about questions you’d like to ask her so she feels comfortable opening up, and then actually stop talking yourself and listen.
2. Chill out.
You’re constantly wanting to try new things and take it all in. You move quickly and love basking in the spotlight. Introverts are attracted to your sense of adventure, but you need to take the time to slow down, too. A recent study reveals that socializing is actually exhausting for extroverts, so while you may feel happy in the moment, you feel fatigued a few hours later. Understand that introverts need time to recharge just as much as you do.
3. Suggest low-key places for dates.
When you’re first getting to know an introvert, the last place you want to take her is a busy bar or a super crowded restaurant. Sometimes a change of pace is nice for you, too, and you want her focusing on you, not the chaos that’s going on around you.
So the next time you’re scrolling through Tinder, remember that there’s no reason to discount someone just because she initially seems shy. Give her a chance and maybe she’ll get more comfortable around you.