Some men buy fast cars when they hit mid-life.  Some men buy large trucks.  Some buy yachts or houses or other large, imposing toys to symbolize their vigor. But, if you think about it, none of that really comes close to a tank in the realm of manly leisure

The aptly named Drive a Tank experience over at the aptly URL’d, is exactly what it sounds like.  You have to travel to Wisconsin, and once there, you’ll be given reign over one of several British armored vehicles (the American military doesn’t release their weaponry for sale to or use by the public. For that reason and because “England has been an ally through the years,” all of their armory is British. 

You can even fire the canon! Each weapon, unfortunately, has been de-milled, which means that they’ve removed particular parts of the canon which are required for it to project an actual projectile. However, they have left the firing mechanisms in place which allow the machines to fire blanks which are just as loud and testicle-rattling as the real thing. Just none of the messy wartime casualties!

There are three flavors of tank crushing available for your destructive delight. You can get the introductory experience which is as follows: Tank Driving Adventure; $499; Introductory Tour, History, Training, Drive two tanks! The FV-433 Abbott and FV432 APC

Then, for an additional $500, you can crush a car. Or, for an additional $700, you can crush two cars in the, again, aptly-named “double car crush.”

The FV-433 Abbott is the smaller of the three tanks available; it has a 105-mm canon on it, and a hatch from which you can emerge on the top to survey your battleground. The larger tank, the FV432 APC (armored personnel carrier), has a larger gun, heavier armor, and a periscope to view your surroundings. But, the big and baddest form of transportation – the one you use to crush cars – is the British version of the American M1 Abrahms. It’s got a 120mm canon, and it looks terrifying. See: