Say it ain’t so, Jon! In case you didn’t hear, the iconic host—who many consider America’s most credible news sources—just announced that he’ll be stepping down from The Daily Show when his contract expires at the end of this year.
Together with Colbert’s finale last December, this bombshell truly marks the end of an era. As Comedy Central remarked on Twitter: “For the better part of the last two decades… Jon has been at the heart of Comedy Central, championing and nurturing the best talent in the industry… Through his unique voice and vision, The Daily Show has become a cultural touchstone for millions of fans and an unparalleled platform for political comedy that will endure for years to come.”
We can’t argue with any of that, and we shall miss his 11 o’clock presence dearly. That being said, we’re sure the network is desperately hunting for an adequate replacement. A lofty aim to be sure, but we have taken the liberty of spitballing a few suggestions…
Louis C.K.: Hey, he almost took over for Letterman, right? A half-hour slot should be a piece of cake.
Gilbert Gottfried: Celebrity Apprentice wasn’t his comeback moment; this is.
Marc Maron: Because the show was almost perfect. It just needed to be a little more neurotic.
Charlie Murphy: Believe it or not, he’s actually three years older than Stewart. But he’s just getting started.
Joe Rogan: Say what you will, the guy has an audience.
Lewis Black: 22 minutes of demented ranting every night? Sign us up!
Samantha Bee: She’s the show’s longest-serving correspondent. Isn’t it her time to shine?
Nick Offerman: He has a sweet moustache and we’ll believe anything he says. What else do you need to know?
Aziz Ansari: He cracks us up, and he’s gotta have a whole wardrobe full of sharp-looking Tom Haverford suit-and-tie combos just hanging around.
Margaret Cho: As they used to say on 30 Rock, kind of a twofer.
Bob Odenkirk: Sure, he just started Better Call Saul! But what better venue for his magnificent oratory gifts is there than this gig?
David Cross: But only if he hosts all segments in the role of Tobias Fünke. And at least half in never-nude jean shorts.
Brian Williams: It’s a fake news program. Why not hire a fake newsman?