Ever send a card to somebody and feel like it was missing a certain… oomph to it? I mean, you can say “I Miss You”, but that could mean anything. Do you miss the person a lot, a little bit? It sounds like not very much.

The card does not specify. With The Effing Card Company’s line of “Effing Cards”, you can make yourself pretty clear, (“I Effing Miss You” drives the point home so much more effectively), by throwing an “eff” in for every occasion. The British card company has an Eff for everything from “Happy Effing Easter” to “”It’s an Effing Boy”. And while they have plenty of friendly Eff cards, they have an equal amount for people you want to say “eff” to in a not so friendly way, from “No One Gives an Eff About You” to the great burn “Eff Off You Effing Effer.” And the best part is the card company will personally inscribe your message and send it anonymously for you if you are indeed sending one to a sworn enemy. This is not something that Hallmark will do. They’ve gone above and beyond. You can buy the cards in packs of five or individually, and you can effing see all of them here.