posted
07/27/11
That beauty sitting next to you at the bar let you buy her a drink, laughed at your jokes and, wait, did she just brush your knee? She may be flirting—and maybe not. Because women are raised to be polite, guys sometimes mistake friendliness for flirtation, says Bree Maresca-Kramer, M.A., relationship expert and author of It’s That Simple! For Men. “We weren’t taught how to get out of an uncomfortable situation, so we’ll just try to be nice.”
But that can backfire when a woman really is interested. “Often women think that they’re giving clear signals, and if the man’s not responding, they take it as a rejection,” she explains. “He’s just not aware, and they both walk away unfulfilled.” To clear up the confusion, here are eight signs a woman wants you.
1. She’s primping
Maybe it goes back to our primal instincts to present ourselves in a way that attracts the best mate, but if she’s doing things such as smoothing her blouse, playing with her hair or adjusting her posture, she’s into you. “Most of the time she’s not aware she’s doing these things, so if a guy notices them he’s going to be clued in,” Maresca-Kramer says. Compliment her efforts, and if you make her blush, even better.
2. Her pupils grow
“When a person is emotionally or sexually aroused, the pupil dilates and becomes up to ten times larger,” observes Jena Pincott, author of Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes: The Science Behind Love, Sex, and Attraction. This involuntary action is a sure sign of attraction. “Interestingly, women who prefer ‘bad boys’ have a preference for guys with big pupils too,” Pincott adds.
3. Her lower body likes you
“If she’s sitting with her legs crossed and her top leg is slightly swinging, or if her foot is pointed toward him, she’s attracted,” Maresca-Kramer notes. Mimic her posture by turning your hips toward her to signal that the interest is mutual.
4. Her language style matches yours
If a woman repeats your phrases or uses words similar to yours, she’s flirting. “In one study, couples whose speaking styles were in sync more than average were nearly four times as likely to desire a second date as those that were not,” Pincott says. To increase your chance of seeing her again, repeat one of her quirky phrases later in the conversation.
5. She talks funny
When flirting, women will speak in a higher pitch, and use more “I” and less “we” in their speech, Pincott says. “Both genders convey intended flirtation by laughing more and speaking faster. Men ask more questions when they are flirting.” In all of human history, asking more questions of a woman has never been a bad move.
6. She asks questions
“A lot of guys look at meeting women in the wrong context,” notes Christian Hudson, dating coach and founder of thesocialman.com, a website that teaches men how to be more charismatic. “They look at a woman who is kind of responsive to them and they say, ‘Oh, she’s interested in me.’ What you really want is a woman who is very engaged.” If she’s asking questions, she’s invested in your conversation. Answer her slowly and vaguely to build intrigue.
7. She thinks deeply
Hudson encourages his clients to use this test when trying to determine whether the lady they’ve met is “feeling the same temperature that you are.” Ask an open-ended question such as “If you could travel anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be and why?” about 10 minutes into the conversation. “The depth of her answer is going to be a good gauge of how into you she is.”
8. She’s into your touch
When all else fails, rely on subtle touching. Try “accidentally” touching the back of her hand with your hand, or let your foot brush up against her foot. “If she allows it, that’s a good sign she’s feeling your physical presence and she’s enjoying it,” Hudson says. Note: This is not an invitation to lunge for her breasts…yet. Be subtle, man. Subtle.
COMMENTS
July 28, 2011 9:16 am
Kelly Herr
GREAT article I LOVE it!!!
July 28, 2011 11:53 am
PRAISE BE TO INGLIP
ALL HAIL LORD INGLIP!!!!
July 28, 2011 9:52 pm
Goner
Umm… so just when CAN we lunge for the breasts? After dessert?
July 29, 2011 12:24 pm
Slagathor
THe breasts ARE the dessert.
July 29, 2011 1:33 pm
yupsir
Good tips. Met enough who talk all about themselves way too much. If they never ask about you, forget it.
July 29, 2011 11:28 pm
tesmin
Aren’t these articles a kick in the head? haha As a woman, its interesting to see where men get there information. Not like other females in that cars, action movies, snakes, wit, metal music, etc are interests of mine. These are all true. Very much so. Glad you gents aren’t receiving mixed messages. At least, not from this article. Good luck out there, guys!
July 29, 2011 11:29 pm
tesmin
*their information. Sorry bout that.
July 29, 2011 11:56 pm
Geno
Women who realize that men are all basically voyeurs, will work that angle on a guy! Jutting out her breasts while combing their hair, or letting thier dress hike up a bit when seated, just to put the guy into a cold sweat! It works, and they know it! She’s the spider to their fly! *grin*
July 30, 2011 10:46 am
Stating the obvious?
Is this for high schoolers? Are there men alive that don’t know this?
July 30, 2011 10:05 pm
dude
9. She grabs your crotch
Ah yes, she wants action immediately. Particulary nice in a public setting. How can any man refuse.
July 31, 2011 11:01 am
Todd
I like #3. If she spreads her legs that’s a good indicator too.
July 31, 2011 2:53 pm
Take It Off
Look, it’s been 40 years now since “Women’s Lib”.
If they can’t come right out and say what they want, then forgettabout them.
July 31, 2011 3:54 pm
Esteban
This type relationship advice is only needed in America because our women are so repressed and aloof. Thank our puritan heritage and feminism for the rotten social culture we men must endure. Our women do not have a clue how to attract a man.
August 1, 2011 5:24 am
spazin
#8 caused so many problems for me. I met a woman and couldn’t pick up on any of the other signs so I tried the hand brush thing and spent the weekend in jail. Ok, yes I met her online and had to break into her house to touch her hand, but still, it didn’t work.
August 1, 2011 6:04 am
Take it off 2
I like what Take it off said.It sure is about time that they said what they want and feel as we men do..stop the damn teasing and let it off(take it off)
August 1, 2011 3:20 pm
davus
#8 is Bad advice. What i think really
works ,(i.am.a.male) is , she will let
you know, its in her eyes. Then, MAKE YOUR MOVE as best and as smooth and as subtle as u can, if she says NO, just accept it and move on. Accept a No from time to time, and take the yeses as they come…. i dont believe women should just give it up so
easily, Earn It….
August 1, 2011 4:02 pm
varg
“She asks questions” is a sign that she is into you? Are you sure?
Pile of nonsense to attract as many clicks as possible. Worthy only for those in high school.
August 1, 2011 4:40 pm
meat
she likes you if she uses words like:
live alone
lonesome
and
until your brains fall out
August 1, 2011 5:09 pm
stiffy
both ankles behind neck
good sign
August 1, 2011 7:41 pm
Ashly
Estiban, BRILLIANT! I am female and love your comment!
August 1, 2011 7:42 pm
Ashly
Pardon me, *Esteban.
August 1, 2011 8:22 pm
Aliens
Kinda hard to take #6 seriously when there’s an alien trying to eat the man’s face.
August 1, 2011 8:23 pm
christine
I am a woman. If I am into a guy I would have a hard time meeting his gaze (I am a bit shy)…but if you were to say, turn around and walk away and take a quick look back…you would catch me taking a look at your butt. I am an @ss girl first and last. That is a sure sign. lol. I prefer men to make the first move…It gives me confidence in their ability to take charge. If you want a women’s libber that isn’t me. Then again, any man that wants the woman to take charge wouldn’t be my type to start with…so no crossed signals in any case.
August 1, 2011 9:11 pm
almxx
If she crosses her legs and pumps her top leg up and down, back and forth, is she masturbating? I have noticed several women have done this, when I was younger.
August 2, 2011 2:48 am
STEVE
Christine I like the way u think. Dont be shy and shoot me a e-mail my name is Steve wiseguys99@yahoo.com
August 2, 2011 7:01 am
Franko
The comments and the article made my morning. Thanks everyone! * ask open-ended questions like “If you were on a camping trip and your camp-mate molested you, would you tell anyone?” A. “I would be too embarassed” next question “Want to go camping?”
August 2, 2011 12:06 pm
Kentucky
Great article!!! Very helpful and makes perfect sense!! Now I know what to look for! Thanks, keep them coming!
August 3, 2011 9:03 am
polishprince
When your older like me how do you know if she’s wearing panties ? Depends
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