Fable III is the cotton candy of video games. Cotton candy is delightful to look at and even more delightful to eat, but it doesn’t fill you up and instead leaves you hungry. Likewise, you’ll probably have a grand ole time with Fable II while it lasts; it’s full of personality and is outright hilarious at times, but in the end you’ll crave something more substantial. It’s also really easy to play while drunk.

It’s easy to play while drunk because it’s very breezy. You don’t really have to put much thought into any of it because other characters lead you around by the hand the entire time, and nothing about the game is particularly annoying. It’s the Age of Industry. You are a Hero, and your brother is the douchebag king, and in the first 30 minutes of the game, you’ll have Bernard Hill telling everyone that you’re the one to lead a revolution against your bro, and you’ll go around kicking ass until you lead said revolution and become king/queen. Even if you’re a huge douchebag yourself. There are choices to be made, but they are binary only.

The second choice you get to make in the game is between signing some guy’s petition and wiping your ass with it; once you’re king, you can either renovate an orphanage or turn it into a brothel. In case it weren’t obvious which option is “evil” and which is “good,” the button you must press to choose the evil option is on fire. Also, that button is “X” every time.

So what’s changed since Fable II? Well, there’s not really a menu this time. Instead of the pause menu, you have the Sanctuary, which is five rooms in which you choose your weapons, clothes and magic spell gloves (you choose which spell you want here instead of in real time) and see what you’ve been spending all your money on and look at the map, all while John Cleese makes amusing observations about whatever it is you’re doing. And instead of menus at stores, the things you can buy are on display. It’s not, you know, more effective than a menu, but it’s a really nice and very unique design touch. XP is different. Now you earn “guild seals” by killing things or completing quests or shaking hands with people.