The Better Half: When you are on the road and don’t have internet connection and you have to call your wife to get you out of a trade.

The Jude Law: Its when you go long Google Dec 600 calls and then sleep with the Baby Sitter. Everyone wins

The Old Man: You buy the first leg on your spread and then buy it again because you forgot that you bought it the first time

The WTF Did I Do: It’s When You buy a spread in the OEX and the next day the spread is out of your account and you realize that you bought the weekly options

Copperfield Error: When you screw up filling a spread for a customer (paper) and throw it in your error account. It then turns out to be a great trade and it magically appears in your regular trading account.

Newbie Spread: When you have 500 dollars left so you buy as far out of the money calls and puts before earnings hoping to get everything back

The T and A: Its when you buy a spread you really don’t want from the guy with the really hot clerk just so you can get a close look at her goodies when she comes to check the trade.

The MoneyBall: It’s when you pull a Billy Beane and sell positions everyone else thinks is gold and buy them when everyone else thinks they are garbage.

The Tommy Lee: It when buy out of the money calls and risk it all because you realize no matter what the outcome is you have a 12” penis

Triple Witching Mike: You sleep in until 10 because its expirations day

The Apple: You make a great trade and build up a reputation as a great trader and then build up expectations so high that you have to preannounce your trades before you make them.

The Microsoft: You start the first leg of the trade but take 12 years to actually finish it.

Cramer Tag Team: Its when you buy 1000 puts and then have your boyfriend Greenberg go all over the media slamming the stock and saying its overvalued.

The Raider Hedge: You put half your money in a stock and then bet the equal amount on anyone playing the Raiders.