10 Real-Life Superheroes (Really!)

No one can shoot lasers out of their eyes quite yet, but superheroes do exist. They’re out fighting crime, probably as we speak. With the long-awaited RoboCop reboot hitting theaters this week, we bring you 10 men in tights making the streets safer—or at least more amusing—for civilians like you and me.

Phoenix Jones Seattle’s protector recently made a blip on the news-of-the-weird radar after jubilant Seahawks Super Bowl rioters set him on fire.

Crusader Prime This fedora’d fellow fights crime on the mean streets of Chicago—no small feat. He also helps the homeless. The Chicago Tribune profiled his adventures last month.

Thanatos, the Dark Avenger Thanatos protects Vancouver and speaks in a cryptic language reminiscent of Watchmen’s Rorschach: “I do not want to win this war [against evil,] just all my battles.”

Wheel Clamp Man You might laugh at his name, but you won’t be laughing when he gets a boot off your car in Perth, Australia.

Doktor DiscorD It began as a bit of street theater, but it quickly became something more serious for Doktor DiscorD. He fights to keep the streets of Indianapolis safe and clean.

Super Hero Who needs a flashy name? Not Super Hero, one of the founders of Team Justice, Inc., the first registered nonprofit for real-life super heroes.

Devil's Head Moth If you were an evildoer and saw this guy bearing down on you, you might rethink your path in life. Just a thought. He also visits disabled children in the hospital.

Phantom Zero Phantom Zero, a big dude who would be imposing even out of costume, fights crime in Central New Jersey, something that even the cops have a hard time doing.

The Watchman Leader of The Challengers, The Watchman spearheads a crime patrol through the city of Milwaukee, looking out for evildoers and keeping the streets safe. His favorite comic book superhero is Superman, but we’re guessing he can’t fly.

Ragensi This dude isn’t content to just be a costumed crime fighter: He’s also a paranormal investigator. The next time you have a ghost in your house, you know who to call.