Earlier this year, a UK man had his terrible tribal tattoo salvaged by a 30-hour session that covered the ink up with an impressive World War mosaic. But unless you want to spend a few days in the chair, you are better off making your original tat count. In other words, follow the rule of think twice, ink once. And avoid the following tat options, please.
1. Your girlfriend or boyfriend’s name: When you catch them on Ashley Madison sometime in the near future, will you still want to be reminded of their very existence on a daily basis?
2. Your own name: Just in case you forget or…?
3. "No regrets:" This tattoo is evidently rarely spelled correctly, so be vigilant before “no regrets” becomes your biggest regret—and you become a walking oxymoron.
4. Fad tattoos: Trending hashtags and songs are trending because they’re trends. Trends fade. And that “shake it off” ink is losing steam with every passing day.
5. Family member faces: What happens when you’re intimate with someone but your mother’s face is pressed against her breast?
6. Eyeball tattoos: Unless you’re cast in the next The Walking Dead, you will indisputably regret dying your cornea.
7. Tribal tattoos: Mike Tyson’s ink is enough for all of us.
8. Kanji tattoos: Do you see Japanese-speaking people walking around with random English words staining their skin? They probably sleep better at night.
9. Tear drop tattoos: Unless you actually killed someone, you don’t have a warrant.
10. Sports team logos: Go purchase a baseball hat, sweatpants, a jersey, a hoodie, a sweatband, boxer briefs, a pint glass, a flag, a foam finger—any impermanent expressionism of devotion is a much more prudent move. Especially if your team hasn’t won a title since the ’80s.
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