Whether you’re a guy or girl, nothing beats a great orgasm. Trouble is, too often women don’t reach one during sex. Luckily, I’m here with solutions. Study and try these fool-proof methods and you’ll soon be sending her over the edge. And not in the Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally way...
1. Warm up her mind.Sure, she desires your touch. But her orgasm is also dependent on the arousal of her mind. Best way to get her brain in the mood? Dirty talk. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering, either. “You look so sexy tonight” isn’t the worst thing you could say to start things off. If that goes well, gradually get dirtier. Tell her you can’t wait until you’re both alone so you can kiss her entire body. Tell her you want to give her the best oral sex she’s ever had. That’ll get her engine revving.
2. Surprise her.Women love surprises, and I’m not talking about diamonds from Tiffany’s (though we love those surprises too). If you and your gal are pretty comfortable with each other, why not climb into the shower with her and soap up her body? Or give her oral sex when she’s sleeping so she wakes up feeling great and ready to get it on? Girls love spontaneity because it makes us feel extremely desired and sexy.
3. Slow down.The last thing she wants to hear you mutter during the heat of the moment is, “Did you orgasm yet?” You don’t want to put undue pressure on the girl to climax, and too much emphasis on the outcome will probably take her focus off of where it should be, which is feeling pleasure in the moment. Slow down, be patient and make it clear that you’re willing to take your time in order to please her. (After all, dude, it’s sex. Savor it.) Don’t ask, “Did you come yet?” Instead ask, “Does that feel good?”
4. Give her multiple looks.Most women prefer multiple positions during a round of sex. If one position isn’t causing her to shout involuntarily in Portuguese, switch it up. Some favorite positions for women include doggie-style and girl on top. (Both provide the perfect amount of elevation and wiggle room so she can ride herself to sexual pleasure.) And do a little research. Grab the Kama Sutra or a similar book when you’re both relaxing and have her rate the various positions. Then try them out in bed.
5. Ask her what she likes. If you’re not sure what drives her crazy, just ask her. She knows her body best, but she might be hesitant to tell you exactly what she likes unless you open the door. So do it! It’ll save you a lot of time and guesswork, and there’s absolutely no shame in it (especially if you ask her in a sexy voice). And once you find out what she likes, give it to her! Be generous, and don’t overthink it. If you find out that she loves to have her nipples bitten, bite her nipples, for goodness sake.
6. Work the g-spot.Here’s a good move that most women love. Place a towel on the bed and have her lie down on it on her back and spread her legs. Insert two fingers (or however many she desires) deep into her vagina until you feel a spongy matter. This is her g-spot. Place your other hand on her lower abdomen and press down gently. Gradually increase the speed of your finger penetration. She may feel the urge to pee because a g-spot orgasm can often result in squirting. Reassure her that she can relax and let loose. The towel will take care of the rest.
7. Don't forget about foreplay.We get it, you want to have sex. But as Michelle Flaherty of American Pie put it, “You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey.” Foreplay gets a woman hot, wet and ready for a good lovemaking session. Kissing her on the lips, neck, breasts, inner thighs and all over her body until she’s begging for it—that’s all going to increase the chances of her reaching ultimate arousal when you finally whip out your hog and do the deed. And don’t be afraid to kink up the foreplay a little with blindfolds, handcuffs or whipped cream.
8. Let her use a vibrator. She loves the feeling of you filling her up (obviously). But most women can’t achieve an orgasm through penetration alone. If she wants to complement what you’re doing with a vibrator, be open to it. Better yet, suggest using a vibrating penis ring during sex. Or use your fingers or knuckles to stimulate her clitoris as you’re thrusting in and out of her. The key is to be a slave to two masters: her vagina and her clitoris. Make sure they’re both getting some love.
9. Two words: figure 8s.Here’s another surefire move. The next time you go down on your girl, avoid simply running your tongue up and down her little love button, which can cause irritation after a while. Instead, let your tongue swirl around her clitoris as if you’re writing the number 8. Work in some light tongue flicking between strokes to provide even more pleasure. Trust me, she’ll go crazy.
10. Realize it's not everything.If the elusive “o” doesn’t happen, don’t sweat it. While orgasms are ideal, women don’t always reach them for a multitude of reasons. That doesn’t mean she didn’t enjoy it. Assuming you’ve tried your absolute best to make a girl feel awesome, don’t let her lack of an orgasm ruin a good time. Now, if it’s happening with every girl you sleep with, you might want to revisit this list and keep perfecting your craft. Because believe me: the man who can consistently make girls’ toes curl in ecstasy and experience mind-blowing orgasms will never be alone for long.