Few things can overshadow the majestic sight of New York Jets coach Rex Ryan’s nipples, but a tattoo of his wife wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey (and nothing else) made news. Same for the already heavily decorated Lil Wayne’s new “BAKED” ink. Such is the power of tattoos: they can take an incredibly weird and/or stupid idea and make it permanent. Since nobody has more weird and/or stupid ideas than celebrities, here’s a salute to stars and their idiotic ink.
Steve-O on Steve-O The big question: if he grows his hair out, will he get it redone?
Johnny Depp Gets a Retouch Some things are forever. Winona Ryder is not one of them, leading to Depp’s tattoo tweak.
Chris Brown Sticks His Neck Out If this were on a man never in any way linked to domestic violence... it would still be a bad idea.
Ke$ha Gives Us Some Lip That’ll show her orthodontist what’s what.
Chris Andersen Makes a Suggestion Basketball’s “Birdman” may now regret this neck tattoo, as the Denver Nuggets indeed elected to “Free Bird” when they waived him.
Katie Price and Her “X” Price (who’s essentially the British version of a Kardashian) let onetime husband Peter Andre know she’d moved on by having his name crossed out. Very poorly crossed out.
Gucci Mane Orders Dessert Many people get tattoos to let the world know how cool they are. Only the Gooch decided the best way to express this is an ice cream cone on the face. Give him the endorsement already, Cold Stone.
Britney Loses in Translation Spears’ decision to get a tattoo meaning “Mysterious” in Japanese took on a decidedly different resonance when genuine Japanese people helpfully noted it actually means “Strange.” (Which actually works pretty well for her.)
Chad Legs It Out For Love The lowest point of Ochocinco’s relationship with Evelyn Lozada was an alleged head-butt that led to Chad’s arrest and his being cut from the Miami Dolphins. (Oh, and they broke up.) But this portrait of her on Chad’s leg is close.
Rex Ryan Supports His Quarterback No matter how many butt fumbles he commits, Jets QB Mark Sanchez doesn’t truly need to worry until Coach Rex lasers this thing.
Lil Wayne Gets Baked No, really. That’s what his new tattoo says. Which we’re sure owes to his deep and abiding love for Entenmann’s products.