Why go average for holiday gifts when you can go big? From a weekend tossing the pigskin with Joe Montana to a $1.5 million gold plane, there can be so much more under the tree than socks, ties and fruitcake. If you can afford to give anything on this list, you don’t need us to wish you a very merry Christmas. The rest of us are wondering who gifts a $30 million pocket watch.
Joe Montana Football Camp ($65,000): Buy a day with Joe Montana and score yourself a gift at the same time—the recipient gets to bring three friends and, if you’re not chosen, you need to start making new friends. Act fast, though, they’re only selling one.
Cobalt Valkyrie-X Private Plan in Rose Gold ($1,500,000): Every geek on the street is walking around with a private plane these days. They’re pretty much the new pager. For those with more taste, there’s this delightfully low-key and refined rose gold airplane. Only one in the world, so you won’t have to worry about Barry at the office biting your steez.
Curated Collection of 36 Caldecott Medal-Winning Children's Books ($100,000): When buying for children, it’s important not to go overboard. This collection of 36 first and early editions for a cool hundred grand is sure to expand the mind of your favorite tyke. After all, who’s more likely to appreciate a rare first edition than someone in grade school?
MWE Lab Emperor XT (Starting at $5,305): This is the ergonomic workstation to end all workstations. Whether the recipient of this gift is designing a website or working on the “Great American Novel,” they’ll be doing it in style and comfort. It boasts a small footprint, meaning you can pack a lot into a small area. Although anyone with a $5,000 workstation probably isn’t hurting for space.
Virgin Galactic flight ($250,000): For the man who has always wanted to be an astronaut (and we all know at least one), there’s simply no substitute for a quarter-million dollar flight on a Virgin Galactic shuttle. Just one catch: No one is entirely sure when your recipient will be able to collect on the gift, but you have to pay upfront anyway.
Brewdog The End of History Beer ($20,000): Why give a beer that any mere plebe off the street can purchase? Instead, go for this one from Brewdog, requiring a $20,000 investment in Equity for Punks USA, helping the brewery expand its operation.
Z9D 4K HDR with Android TV ($5,500): For your friend from AV club back in high school who’s just never satisfied with picture quality, there’s this $5,500 television, boasting a better processor than what’s probably inside your laptop.
Yuneec Tornado H920 Drone ($3,499): This is the absolute top-of-the-line drone from Yuneec. It’s made out of durable carbon fiber and the arms are collapsible, making for easy storage. Note: The CGO4 camera will run you another $2,699 if you actually want to take pictures with it.
Marie-Antoinette Pocket Watch ($30,000,000): Give the gift of the Magi this holiday season. No, don’t sell your hair to buy a watch chain or whatever. Buy someone a timepiece fit for the last king of Ancien Régime France.
Peerless Fonderie 47 Limited-Edition Fountain Pen ($4,700): This philanthropic $4,700 pen is a world away from a Bic. It’s made out of blackened steel from a melted down AK-47. Each pen features the serial number of a destroyed AK, and each purchase funds the destruction of 10 assault rifles in an African war zone. Did we mention you can, like, write stuff with it?
Fonderie 47 Cufflinks ($9,000): If you’re convinced you’re not throwing gas on a fire (or just don’t care), these $9,000 cufflinks make the perfect compliment to a $4,700 pen. All social responsibility aside, they’re definitely $9,000 worth of sharp.
Fonderie 47 Inversion Principle Watch ($195,000): And if the Marie-Antoinette watch is a little too “let them eat cake” for the next $25,000-a-plate fundraiser, might we suggest this wristwatch that will fund the destruction of 1,000 African rifles?
Audeze Headphones ($1,945): Basically anyone can buy a decent set of headphones these days. But why stop there? For just under two grand you can have impeccable sound and craftsmanship. The distinctive design features Zebrano wood and lambskin leatherette. Luxurious.
Zafirro Iridium ($100,000): While many men are rediscovering the joys of the wet shave, why not step up a friend’s shaving game with this opulent option? For just a hundred grand you can give a razor blade made of iridium, ten times rarer than platinum and most commonly found in meteors. Eat your heart out, Wolverine.
Kairos Luxury Safe K2 ($17,225): If you’re buying these kinds of gifts, you’d better have a secure place to stash them. This 61-inch, 880-pound box boasts protection from professional safecrackers, making it perfect for that special someone sitting on a bunch of priceless Picassos.