Vintage concert tees have been all the rage for quite some time. Some beg the question, "Does the person wearing a shirt with that classic rock band's logo on it really like them?" Kourtney Kardashian is often seen in a Judas Priest tee. Can she actually name a single one of their tunes? She probably thinks British Steel is a cologne. American Eagle-Outfitters is presently peddling both Van Halen and Def Leppard shirts to its teenaged female shoppers. A lover of music will no doubt be compelled to proffer a Q&A to the young lady sporting one of these; what music teacher worth a salt wouldn't? The most popular of the lot, the revered Stones logo, sends one clear message: "I dig rock. Classic rock. And Mick's the man." So you better know who Mick is, buddy. Here's what your concert tee is saying...
1. Johnny Cash: These are hella popular these days, and chances are at least 30 percent of the guys wearing one just know Joauquin Phoenix played Cash in a movie that scored Reese Witherspoon an Oscar. And not even that Oscar part. But the tried and true Cash fan? He digs the middle finger, and flipping it at authorities, too. He's a rebel with a cause, and that cause is being badass. The true Johnny fan isn't an apologist, and revels in raucous behavior. Consider yourself warned. And lucky.
2. RUSH: Nerd alert! But you don't care. If anything, it's your mission to get any chick who sticks around long enough to at least dig on Limelight or Red Barchetta. Or at least Tom Sawyer. Wearing a shirt with this Canadian trio on it says: "I am who I am. Take it or leave it." It also happens to say, "I have friends who will be coming over to listen to this music with me, and we may even play some D&D while we're at it. Who cares that we're in our mid-30s?"
3. Nirvana: This shirt is about SO much more than the actual band, and its not exactly sizable catalogue. Cobain's suicide is wrapped up in the whole thing, a reverence for the 90's, and an irreverence is present too; how could one not be - the "Nevermind" cover is a naked baby in a swimming pool, ding-a-ling on display for the whole world to see. This guy feels a rage, but it's a righteous rage - one that will usually be accompanied by some huge tears. There is depth, angst, and an ability to rally around the broken. Plus, he's probably written some real bad poetry in his life.
4. Megadeth: This guy is probably way more of a chill dude than you could ever imagine. It's just, in the pit he's a beast. It's where he waves his fist, plays a wicked air bass, the whole thing meant to be cathartic. Which, of course, it is. And why none of that ferociousness is left for anywhere else, like his copy machine-repairing gig or the living room. It also suggests said living room will be decorated like a dorm room, if it's "decorated" at all. There could totally be a styrofoam cooler to sit on and a Tiffani-Amber Thiessen poster hanging crooked on the wall.
5. BB King or Miles Davis: Either one of these can put a lady off, fella. Especially Davis. Unless you're a college professor and she's your student, Davis is going to reek of pretension and academia. You might be the most fun drunk in town, but this bad boy says, "bo-o-oring." As for the blues great, your message is mixed at best. One the one hand you're saying, "I'm old school. I admire the greats." But to the gal who knows anything about music you might also be saying guitar is something I can get lost in. As opposed to your eyes.
6. Elvis: The King? C'mon. This guy is respecting rock 'n roll and his parents and grandparents all at once. He's saying, "History's important. Where things begin is important." What lady doesn't want that? But Elvis also says a whole lot more - maybe even more than all these others combined. Elvis speaks to style and originality. This is the equivalent of a girl in a Marilyn Monroe tee. It's equal parts homage and timelessness.