So just a few weeks ago we told you all about relationship killers to avoid, despite being a huge idiot. We gave you some pretty solid advice on how to be a good boyfriend or husband by admitting that you simply suck at some things, remembering important details and keeping away problematic female friends. But there’s more to it. A lot of women, myself included, would argue that men all too often focus their efforts in saying what they think we want to hear instead of doing what we want to see. So, yes, your wandering eye and short-term memory loss are easily disconcerting, but we’re far more acutely aware of your intentions and actions than the bullshit you feed us. Contrary to popular belief, women don’t care so much about these six things.
1. Forgetting little details. I, like many women I know, don’t mind if you forget my parents' birthdays or my favorite song, which changes every other weekend. These are minor in the grand scheme of things—a reminder is all you need. But forgetting how I operate is something else. You should never forget that your girlfriend isn’t a morning person. Don’t forget that she hates when you verbally explain directions as if she’ll remember instead of just giving her an address to plug into the GPS. If you know her well enough, you know what makes her, her. And those are the things you shouldn’t be forgetting.
2. Acknowledging other women. I have a million and one different crushes spanning Justin Timberlake to Hugh Grant to Matthew McConaughey to Trevor Noah. And I don’t expect my boyfriend to be totally blind to other women. But there’s a fine line between playfulness and disloyalty. Like we’ve said before, if you’re chatting up women on Facebook or “sliding into DMs,” it’s likely because you’re dissatisfied with the woman sleeping beside you. It’s cheating because it’s mendacious. But if you’re simply acknowledging a beautiful person, and you treat your girlfriend with enough respect, compassion and daily affirmation, she won’t feel threatened.
3. Having girl friends. If you have girl friends, it probably says that you know how to treat women well enough that they can stand being around you. If your girlfriend has a problem with your strictly platonic (and had always been platonic) girl friends, it’s probably because she doesn’t trust you for another reason. Reassure your girlfriend once, don’t bring it up again or make it weird, and hang out all together. Or she’ll start to have suspicions.
4. Your damn car. If your car payment means that you can’t foot the bill every now and again or you have to work longer hours to afford it, she won’t be impressed. Women would much rather ride the high of interesting conversation than ride in your absurdly expensive whip—especially when we can’t even put our feet on the dash.
5. Your money. Of course, some women are looking to lock down sugar daddies, but most women genuinely enjoy their independence. Likewise, most women are incredibly turned off by your fat ego over your six-digit salary. Sure, if you’re gainfully employed, that’s a plus. But women are far more attracted to a proud but humble man who has worked hard, than an idiot with money. Because an idiot with money is still an idiot.
6. The size of your package. Too many guys sext about their “big” penises in some other not-so-choice words. Too many guys send unsolicited dick pics to prove it, when we didn’t ask. Cliché or not: We don’t need to hop aboard an ocean liner, but we do care whether or not the captain can stay in port long enough for all passengers to get off. Few women actually care about the size of a man’s appendage so long as he knows what he’s doing. On a related note: We don’t care how long you can go if you’re successful. Focusing too much in prolonging sex can have adverse effects—i.e. boredom and discomfort. If you’re trying to prove your mastery, go ahead and prolong foreplay for as long as want.