Now that tapes of famous Russian spy Anna Chapman in action have surfaced, you can watch her swap messages, money and information in scenes befitting a Cold War-era spy thriller. See her openly discuss plans for America’s downfall with an FBI agent posing as her Russian handler. Gaze in awe as you realize your favorite lad mag cover model is really a deep-cover Russian spy. Since returning to the Motherland as part of a spy swap, Anna has hit the runway, gotten her own television show and testified against her “handler” during his in absensia trial. She’s like a Bond girl, but real. Enjoy the pictures and fun facts, gents.
Who doesn’t love a dangerous girl with a gun?
If all spies are this sexy, they’ll have us giving up our secrets away without a lot of effort.
A perfect espionage outfit if we’ve ever seen one.
Here’s Anna on the streets of New York, which seem positively tropical when compared to St. Petersburg.
Anna is hot, deadly and smart, holding a masters degree in economics from the Peoples’ Friendship University of Russia, the Soviet equivalent of the University of Phoenix.
After being exposed as an unregistered Russian agent (fancy talk for “spy”), Anna had her British citizenship revoked.
In 2010, Anna was named to the Young Guard of United Russia’s public council. That’s sort of like Russia’s version of the Young Republicans or Campus Democrats, only way creepier.
Vladimir Putin praised Anna and other members of the Illegals Program as having given their lives for Mother Russia.
Anna was one of only two members of the Illegals Program to use her real name.
Vice President Joe Biden once commented: “Let me be clear. It was not my idea to send her back.” We second that, sir.