Made Man

  • Style
  • Food & Drink
  • Entertainment
  • Tech & Gear
  • Lifestyle
  • News
  • Women
  • Video Series

Inside Style

  • Clothing
  • Grooming
  • Home
  • Shoes & Accessories
  • Body Modification

Recent Articles

f-19-200x115.jpg

These Board Shorts Look Awesome—and Won’t Blind Your Friends

f-1-200x115.jpg

25 Definitive Quotes on Men’s Style

f-12-200x115.jpg

What Your Underwear Tells Her About You

f-5-200x115.jpg

11 Instagram Lessons in How to Rock the Pocket Square

Inside Food & Drink

  • Mixology
  • Dining
  • Beer & Wine
  • Cooking
  • Grilling & BBQ

Recent Articles

f-24-200x115.jpg

Why You Should Tip Your Servers, Even When They Royally Screw Up

lawnmower-beer-guys-200x115.jpg

These Lawnmower Beers Will Actually Make You Want to Mow

ribs-4-200x115.jpg

Secrets of the Best Beer-Glazed Spare Ribs, Revealed

lr-featured-200x115.jpg

Anatomy of a Legit Lobster Roll

Inside Entertainment

  • Celebrities
  • Movies & TV
  • Travel
  • Nightlife
  • Sports

Recent Articles

travel-babe-featured-200x115.jpg

How to Meet Women While Traveling Solo

golf-gear-200x115.jpg

This Next-Level Golf Gear Will Have You Playing Like a Champ

original-200x115.jpg

The (Paranoid) Gentleman’s Guide to Travel

swiss-army-knife-200x115.jpg

Essential Items You Should Never Travel Without

Inside Tech & Gear

  • Cool Gadgets
  • Internet & Apps
  • Rides
  • Tech & Innovation

Recent Articles

f-200x115.jpg

Climb Inside This 13-Foot Mech Suit

man-shopping-200x115.jpg

Why I Drop a Lot of Dough on My Clothes and You Should, Too

big-horsepower-200x115.jpg

Get More Horsepower Out of Your Car

shayna-texter-portrait-200x115.jpg

Racing With the Boys

Inside Lifestyle

  • Sexuality
  • Fitness
  • Healthy Living
  • Fatherhood
  • Finances

Recent Articles

muscle-steak-200x115.jpg

The 6 Best Muscle-Building Foods

f-24-200x115.jpg

Why You Should Tip Your Servers, Even When They Royally Screw Up

marijuana-varieties-200x115.jpg

Happy 4/20: 10 Overlooked Reasons To Celebrate Cannabis Culture

physical-featured-200x115.jpg

Guys, It’s Actually OK to Check Us Ladies Out at the Gym

Inside News

  • Trending
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Sports

Recent Articles

asteroid-1-200x115.jpg

The Asteroid That Almost Grazed Earth Is Nothing Compared to the 40-Million-Ton Asteroid That Could Collide With Earth Soon

gal-gadot-hot-do-200x115.jpg

12 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Wonder Woman—and SNL Host—Gal Gadot

GettyImages-856536570-200x115.jpg

How to Deal With All the Scary Shit Going on in the World Today

world-end-1-200x115.jpg

A Whole Bunch of Times the World Was Supposed to End... But Shockingly Didn't

More About Women

  • What Women Want
  • More Women
  • Women We Admire
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Chickipedia

f-200x115.jpg

How to Turn Sexting into Actual Sex

maxresdefault-200x115.jpg

4 Awkward Situations With Her Parents and How to Fix Them

five-brides-one-groom-200x115.jpg

Science Says Monogamy Is a Myth

instagram-200x115.jpg

How Not to Be a Creep on Instagram

Inside Video

  • 60-Second Happy Hour
  • The Donnelly Show
  • 100 Things
  • Speakeasy
  • Beer Food
  • For the Win

feature26-200x115.jpg

60-Second Happy Hour: Jungle Bird

pulp-fiction-shake-200x115.jpg

This Spiked Pulp Fiction Float Tastes Goooood

Screen-Shot-2016-12-19-at-2.22.21-PM-200x115.png

This Cocktail Is Always Ready to Throw Down

assassins-creed-cocktail-200x115.jpg

Drink in the Dark to Serve the Light

 
 
 
Mademan › Food & Drink › The Appropriate Adult Beverage for Every Phase of Your Life

The Appropriate Adult Beverage for Every Phase of Your Life

  • By Connor Toole | 01/30/2018 |
  • Comments
View Comments
Facebook Twitter Stumble Google+ Save
main.jpg

All of us go through various imbibing phases over the course of our lives, and while we'll never judge people for drinking what they want to drink, there are certain types of alcoholic beverages that we tend to gravitate toward at certain ages, with good reason. If you’ve already gone through some of these phases, this list will probably bring back some memories—or bring you back to a time when you didn’t remember much. If you haven’t, consider it a boozy little primer for what’s to come…

1.jpg

High School: While we certainly don’t condone underage drinking, many people experiment with alcohol during the period commonly referred to as “the best years of your life” by people who haven’t lived past the age of 19. There are two main categories of high school booze. The first is “whatever your parents won’t notice is missing,” most commonly manifested as watered-down Grey Goose. The second is “whatever your friend’s older brother is willing to buy for you,” usually something no one over the age of 21 has ever purchased to drink themselves. In other words: Malibu Coconut

2.jpg

College: Every single alcohol purchase you make in college should focus on getting the highest amount of alcohol for the lowest possible cost. This includes boxed wine, beers with “ICE” in the name, and flavored vodka sold exclusively in plastic handles. If you’re buying anything that comes in a glass bottle, you’re probably spending too much. The only real exception is celebrations, like when you get a D+ in the core class you need to graduate, or your football team wins a game that causes people to light furniture on fire. On these occasions, you’re allowed to treat yourself to a bottle of André, also known as “the beer of champagnes.” In other words: Popov Vodka

3.jpeg

Your Early Twenties: Here’s your chance to apologize to your liver for everything you did in college. This period will definitely be a transitional one, and there will likely be one morning in particular when you wake up with a hangover that takes multiples days to fully get over. Now’s the time to accept your drinking habits need to change and learn what “drinking in moderation” really means. Now’s the time to take advantage of the work parties where you can sample stuff you couldn’t possibly afford otherwise. Most importantly, now’s the time to start drinking name-brand liquors, entry-level craft beers, and wines that cost more than $8 a bottle. In other words: Oskar Blue’s Dale’s Pale Ale

4.jpg

Your Late Twenties: By now, you should be making enough money to afford pricier, classier booze. While binge drinking might be frowned upon, “nice” alcohol lets you get away with drinking more than you probably should. People might judge you for polishing off a six-pack of PBR in one sitting, but there’s no shame in cracking a few tall boys with “Imperial” in the name and an ABV over 10 percent if you had to wait in line to buy them at a hyperlocal craft brewery. It might be considered juvenile to suck down vodka sodas all night long, but it’s acceptable to do the same with artisanal cocktails containing five ingredients, at least one of which you’ve never heard of. And shots might be seen as uncivilized, but there’s nothing wrong with throwing three of them in a whiskey glass and sipping them slowly. In other words: Larceny Bourbon

5.png

Your Early Thirties: When you hit 30, you have a couple options. The first is to go all-in on whatever sphere has sucked you in the most over the past few years. Some guys convert their garage into a home brewing operation. Others decide it’s time to turn their basement into a wine cellar. Or to construct a bar to store their collection of homemade bitters and imported liqueurs. A more sensible choice is to start curating a well-rounded bar stocked with spirits critical to the most basic cocktails that can also stand on their own when you want something simple. You’ll want to supplement it with a couple of six-packs of your choice and at least one bottle of wine you can use to impress any guests you care about impressing. In other words: Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Black Label Claret

6.png

Your Late Thirties: There’s a very good chance that by this time in life you’re going to be responsible for the life of a small child, which is not conducive to drinking heavily. Your options on most nights will be limited a glass or two of wine, a couple of low ABV beers, or a few splashes of your liquor of choice (or maybe even a cocktail, if you can summon up the energy). That way, when disaster inevitably strikes at 2:37 in the morning, you’ll be ready to take it on— or at least as ready as any person can be at 2:37 in the morning. In other words: Founders All Day IPA

7.jpg

Your Forties, Fifties and Beyond: By now, your palate has probably started to deteriorate to the point where your ability to detect subtle flavors is just another memory you’ll eventually forget. When this happens, there are a couple of paths you can follow. One is to regress back to your college years, where drinking revolved around consuming cheap beers with little to no flavor in sizeable quantities. If you’re seeking a middle ground, you can turns toward brandy, cognac, or any other drink traditionally reserved for European nobility. If you’d rather gravitate toward the high end of the flavor spectrum, your best option is Scotch. The only downside to this path is that it will lead you to unconsciously seek out increasingly potent variants until you one day find yourself wandering aimlessly through a peat bog in Scotland. In other words: Laphroaig Cask Strength

 

 

 

 

Tags:Beer, drink, food, food and drink, lifestyle, Scotch, wine

Newest Galleries

10 Women Reveal the Simple Gestures Guys Can Do to Make Up for a Fight

“A small, handwritten note does the trick.”

The 10 Weirdest Deaths in History

We ain’t going out like that.

9 Things That Will Immediately Change in Your Relationship Once the Kid Shows Up

You might as well kiss your alone time goodbye.

  • 0 Comments

From Around The Web

Leave A Comment

Made Man Collections

  • Lists
  • Galleries
  • Top 10's
  • Chickipedia
  • Made Man's Definitive Guides

Follow Made Man

  • Youtube
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Google Plus
  • Instagram

Site Information

  • Archives
  • Site Map
  • RSS Feed
  • Home
  • Style
  • Food & Drink
  • Entertainment
  • Tech & Gear
  • Lifestyle
  • News
  • Video Series
  • Women
  • Saved Items