The 37 Best 30 Rock Insults

Grieving the prospect of a new TV season without fresh 30 Rock episodes? Soothe your bruised mind grapes with a look back at the show's perhaps most lasting contribution to pop culture: Its celebration of smacktalk, the insult, or — in the show's writer's-room parlance — the burn, of which Alec Baldwin's Jack Donaghy was the undisputed master. (He was also an unwitting service journalist: Approximately 95% of these can be repurposed and customized for your own use.) So nut up, be a man and click forward, you turtle-faced goon.

"I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman." —Jack, season 1, episode 1

Pete: We own Kmart now? Jack: No. So why are you dressed like we do? — Season 1, episode 1

"I pass particles of men like you in my wind." — Jack, season 1, episode 18, "Fireworks"

"What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine? When I drop a load in a washing machine, it doesn't follow me around for a week." —Liz, season 1, episode 12, "Black Tie"

"If you were any other woman on earth, I'd be turned on right now." — Jack, season 1, episode 5, "Jack-Tor"

"You look like someone dropped a used condom on the floor of a barbershop." — Jenna, season 7, "Chillulax"

"I'm glad to see that the endgame of feminism is women dressing like Dennis the Menace at work." —Diana Jessup, season 6, episode 14, "Kidnapped by Danger"

Liz: Yes, Cerie, I was at Marquee last night. Cerie: What were you doing there? Was it like that time they found my grandpa at the bus station? —Season 1, episode 7, "Cougars"

"You're going to Nag's Head? Isn't that redundant?" —Jack, season 5, episode 14, "Double-Edged Sword"

Liz: Brooklyn Without Limits: crunchy on the outside, right wing nutjob on the inside. Jack: Like Ann Coulter's underwear. — Season 5, episode 7, "Brooklyn Without Limits"

"And unlike the rest of Jack's girlfriends, I have all my original parts." — Liz, season 1, episode 12, "Black Tie"

"Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking." —Jenna, season 5, episode 19, "I Heart Connecticut"

"We produce more failed pilots than the French air force." —Jack, season 5, episode 9, "I Heart Connecticut"

"Good God, Lemon, your breath! When did you find time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?" — Jack, season 3, episode 4, "Stone Mountain"

"I'll cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin. YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!" —Liz, season 2, episode 14, "Sandwich Day"

"Ms. Lemon, your eyes look like my uncle's after he drank from the air conditioner." — Kenneth, season 2, episode 11, "Milf Island"

"Don't worry about getting to your point. I'm going to live forever." — Jack, season 5, episode 8, "College"

—Season 4, "Queen of Jordan"

"You best go home and put on your daddy's shoes, boy. This is a man’s game." — Jack, season 1, episode 3, "Blind Date"

"Jenna, I suggest you go back into whatever truck-stop restroom you crawled out of." — Diana Jessup, season 6, episode 20, "Queen of Jordan 2: Mystery of the Phantom Pooper"

"Those shoes are definitely bi-curious." —Jack, season 1, episode 3, "Blind Date"

"Lesbian Mario Brothers!" —Jack, season 5, episode 7, "Brooklyn Without Limits"

"You can't read his thoughts 'cause he doesn't have any." —Frank, season 1, episode 3, "Blind Date"

“Having known Claire for a very enjoyable twenty minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I'm going to go with Claire on this one.” —Jack, season 3, episode 3, "The One With the Cast of Night Court"

"Mother, there are terrorist cells more nurturing than you are." —Jack, season 2, episode 9, "Ludachristmas"

"Hey Liz, a gym teacher on a sex tour of Indonesia called. He wants his shirt back." — Karolina the model, season 6, episode 9, "Leap Day"

"Why are you talking like a Persian immigrant? —Jack, season 5, episode 4, "Live Show"

"I thought you made love like an ugly girl. So present, so grateful." —Jack, season 2, episode 6, "Somebody to Love"

"Lemon, you look terrible, and I once watched you eat oysters while you had a cold." —Jack, season 5, episode 19, "I Heart Connecticut"

"Not only is your fly unzipped, there's a pencil sticking out of it." —Jack, season 5, episode 14, "Double-Edged Sword"

[The taste of loneliness]

"A smug 40-year-old bridesmaid. What a treat for everyone." — Jack, season 4, episode 22, "I Do I Do"

"You look like a prison weed dealer." — Jack, season 4, episode 17, "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter"

"We're so Sex and the City right now. I'm Samantha, you're Charlotte, and you're the woman at home who watches it." — Jenna, season 1, episode 20, "Cleveland"

"Good God, I can see every line and pore in your face. It looks like a YMCA climbing wall." — Jack, season 5, episode 4, "Live Show"

"[You want to name your daughter] Kylie? Great. She can strip her way through community college." —Liz, season 5, episode 6, "Gentleman's Intermission"

 

 

 

 

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