At some point or another you’ve dated a woman who twisted your arm to watch some rom-com that made you want to poke your eyes out with toothpicks. Most likely, you spent the night thinking about your fantasy football team while staring at Katherine Heigl’s cleavage instead of picking up a few lessons on how to treat women. Well, I can’t say that I blame you much. So, I jumped on the grenade, spent a weekend locked up with the worst of the worst and emerged with these 10 dating tips from chick flicks (and lotsa photos from one of the all-timers, The Notebook). Now you can spend your weekend watching Jason Statham blow things up instead of watching Rachel McAdams cry. You’re welcome.
1. Chivalry ain’t dead: Despite what they told you at the latest pickup-artist seminar, women love being treated with old-fashioned respect. Sure, they want to be able to work outside the home and vote. That doesn’t mean they actually want to be treated like a man. They want you to open doors for them, pull out their chair and even pass their order along to a waiter at the restaurant. Don’t be afraid to court in the manner of your grandfather.
2. Fortune favors the bold: You know the movie you saw about the dude who fell in love with a chick who didn’t like him until he basically stalked her? Well, listen, pal: Don’t do anything that will get you a restraining order, but dare to be different. Make gestures that will have you standing out from the pack. If she’s not immediately swept off her feet, keep at it. A lot of times a woman won’t give you an outright “no.” It’s because she kind of likes the attention, and her heart might just be melting.
3. Leave something to the imagination: You know what’s sexy? Mystery and suspense. You know the tingly feeling you get when things are just about to get sexy but no one has taken the plunge yet? Pretty rad, right? She thinks so, too. Don’t throw all your cards on the table at once. Let her pull them out a bit. Then, when you’re standing on the precipice of intimacy, don’t be afraid to drag it out a little. Forward motion is important, but go ahead and slow things down a little bit. She’ll thank you for it, sexually speaking.
4. Get in touch with her feminine side: There’s no question about it: femininity is hot and sexy. She puts time into making herself look good, and you need to appreciate it. Try to take notice of things like when she gets her hair or nails done. And of course, make sure you pay extra attention to her lady regions after she grooms them. Use every action possible to acknowledge her beauty. It will only have her trying harder to look hot for you.
5. Get in touch with her inner woman: Get your mind out of the gutter. What I mean is, learn as much as you can about female psychology in general, as well as her female psychology in particular. It’s going to give you a leg up in the relationship, help you to avoid the nightmares of past relationships and allow a greater degree of emotional intimacy between the two of you.
6. You can’t love others until you love yourself: Start training yourself in the ways of self-love, and I don’t mean the kind you spent most of high school engaging in. Appreciate yourself, almost to the level of narcissism. Nothing is more attractive than a man who is confident as hell.
7. Get comfortable: You know all those scenes in chick flicks where the guy is feeding her pizza and what not? That’s comfort. One way that you get a new dog to build trust with you is to hand feed it. Women aren’t dogs and there are other ways to establish this kind of comfort (like, you know, listening), but the basic principle remains. You want women to feel comfortable around you. That’s a lady killer that no amount of money can buy. You can learn a lot more about creating comfort here.
8. Play kino: At the Art of Charm, we talk a lot about “kinesthetic touch.” You know what that means? Body contact. You want to start getting it in as early as you can. A simple hand on the shoulder can break down barriers. You’ve shown her that physical touch between the two of you is OK. Trust me, you’ll be amazed at how quickly something like an arm around a woman’s waist can have her all over you.
9. Adventure is hot: You know what women love? A guy who wants to come by in the middle of the night and take them to the beach on a day that didn’t go so great. Women like adventure and excitement. You don’t have to be Indiana Jones to bring excitement into her life. You just have to be thoughtful and spontaneous.
10. Push the envelope: Whether it’s sexually or otherwise, don’t be afraid to cross a few lines. You’re the man. You’re supposed to be the aggressor, the initiator, the one pushing things forward. Don’t worry, tiger. She’ll let you know when your stock car is running in the red. Until then, don’t sweat it and as we’ve said before, ask for forgiveness, not permission.