As men, we pride ourselves on our lovemaking abilities, and our sense of masculinity sort of depends on it. But the collective belief in our gender’s sexual prowess can’t possibly be true, because there are legions of sexually unsatisfied women who say otherwise. According to Planned Parenthood, 80 percent of women have difficulty climaxing from vaginal intercourse alone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get better. We’ve consulted science for factors that have proven to both make men better lovers and make sex a better overall experience. Educate yourself—and enjoy her o-face.
1. Incorporate toys. Though many men fear toys could replace their God-given manhood, she’ll experience higher levels of desire, arousal, lubrication and orgasm, according to a study from the Kinsey Institute. The study also found that solo sex with vibrators does not affect the sexual enjoyment of another person, dudes, so let’s all please get over it and embrace adult toy boxes.
2. Experiment. Want to spice up your sex life? Try new things, man! A study of 38,747 couples ages 18 to 65 who were either married or living together found that “trying new things” was the most important element in maintaining a great sex life. The study concluded that mixing things up in the boudoir could keep couples as sexually satisfied as those first six months of a relationship when toe-curling sex is at an all-time high.
3. Cuddle. Yes, embracing your loved one after sex leads to higher sexual satisfaction among couples. And,guys, don’t think it’s just her who wants it. This study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, found that this sentiment is true in both genders. Don’t just get off and go to bed. Grab your girl and spoon a little.
4. Lube up. While it’s true that women produce their own lubricant, some of the store-bought stuff doesn’t hurt either. A study from Indiana University discovered that women who use lube during intercourse report higher sexual satisfaction than those who don’t. The study surveyed 2,453 women who were assigned one of six water- or silicone-based lubes during intercourse or solo sex. Both enhanced all different types of sex, though water-based performed better for anal.
5. Own an Android phone. A "study" (a term I use loosely here) of 5,329 American singles by Match.com found that Android owners have more sex, better sex and are more likely to climax during sex than anyone with a different phone. Some 55 percent of Android owners said they orgasm 90 to 100 percent of the time. BlackBerry owners said 54 percent and those with Windows Phones, 51 percent. iPhone owners came in at just 48 percent. Alternate conclusion: iPhone owners are the most honest souls.
6. Open up. By this I mean opening the “avenues of communication,” not her legs. In the third wave of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, researchers asked 3,200 students aged 18 to 26 questions about self-esteem, empathy, sexual health and satisfaction. Scientists ufound that empathetic males were most responsive to their partners’ needs. In other words, to be a better lover: put your partner’s sexual needs before your own, communicate what you like and don’t like, and stop being so damn selfish in bed.
7. Go vegetarian. Turns out tofu can influence hormone levels and heighten sexual activity. A study published in the journal Hormones and Behavior looked at the behaviors of red colobus monkeys and found that most males who ate a diet rich in plant-based products spent more time having sex than grooming themselves. Which I guess is a good thing?
8. Play with your butt. Hear me out on this one, guys. It’s 2017 and we should be less reluctant to prostate play. Luxury sex toy retailer LELO has done a great amount of research into the man’s G-Spot to find that not only do men who experiment with prostate play experience bigger and better orgasms (33 percent bigger, even), but also have thicker and stronger erections. Prostate massage has also proven to help prevent erectile dysfunction and the odds of an enlarged prostate. Hell, Kanye’s (probably) into it… what are you waiting for?
9. Say those three special words. Researchers from multiple universities surveyed nearly 39,000 people who had been in long-term relationships and discovered just how important it is to say “I love you” during sex. Research found that 75 percent of sexually satisfied men and 74 percent of women reported that “I love you” was said during sexual encounters, compared to 49 percent of sexually dissatisfied men and 44 percent of women.
10. Be good. Girls may dig the asshole, but the nice guy is better in bed. A study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that people who have an “altruistic” (or compassionate) personality are more selfless in bed, which translates to more successful mating. Which isn’t actually all that surprising. What is surprising, however, is that nice guys are generally perceived as better friends than they are lovers. Let’s change that.