Here’s a quick difference between men and boys. Men take women out on dates. Boys want to “hang out.” Clearly, taking women out on dates is the superior move. Still, a lot of guys aren’t sure how to ask out a woman. It’s not something at which our generation excels. A lot of guys need a few pointers on how to do this the right way (and how to summon the courage to do it at all). Fortunately, giving men pointers on how to do things the right way is what I do for a living. So read on for six keys to asking a girl out on a date, as well as an important bonus tip.
1. Know what you want to do. Nothing is more annoying than having someone call to make plans without any idea of what they actually want to do. When you call a woman for a date, you need to have something to do. In fact, you need to have three things to do, because she might not like the first one. If you “pitch” her three and she’s not interested in any of them, you can be confident that she just doesn’t want to go out with you.
2. Steel yourself for rejection. When you go out on a limb like this, you’re going to run the very real risk of getting totally shot down. That’s fine. The only people who never get shot down are people who never try to do anything. But you should be ready for that when you call. Hope for the best and plan for the worst, which in this case means that she’ll just say “no.”
3. Call her. On the phone. Don’t ask her out via text message or Facebook chat or whatever. You need to pick up your fancy-ass smartphone and actually dial her number. This shows that you’re a confident man, and it gives you a far better stance from which to ask for the date. Further, she’ll take you much more seriously than if you make plans via texting or G-chat. You’ll set this interaction apart from others, subtly making the point that she’s special enough to put in the effort of real-time communication.
4. Use the word “date.” Don’t ask her if she wants to hang out, get together or any other milquetoast euphemism. This isn’t any of that. That stuff was what you did back in high school and college when you were too scared to let your intentions be known. Now that you’re a man, you explicitly say what it is you’re going after.
5. Be casual. You’re asking her for a date, not her hand in marriage. Don’t make it a big deal. Call her up, engage in a little bit of banter, then ask for what you want as if it’s something that you do every day.
6. Follow Up. You should follow up after you confirm the date. I don’t mean calling her every day between the day you ask and the night that you go out. I mean sending her a text message the day before mentioning that you’re looking forward to seeing her the next day. You can even do this in the course of other conversations, provided that you don’t lay it on too thick.