They say you can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps, and—the older he gets—the company he's most often in is his pet's. But the minute you mention Fido or Fluffy to your date, the wheels in her head start turning. Read on to see what she's thinking, though keep in mind that she's likely biased—whether she's a dog or cat person will weigh heavily on her opinion. And If she's a "no animals" person, it's your turn to judge. And run.
Cat: It takes a strong man to admit his love for cats. What it Says: “I’m more sensitive than most, but that’s a good thing in this instance. I’ll almost always favor a night in [with the cat] to a night out.” Reserved for: Introverts who love Netflix & Chill a little too much.
Dog: They call dogs “man’s best friend” for a reason. There’s a breed for every bro. What it Says: Having a dog in general doesn’t say a ton about you (dog people are generally great but remember that Hitler also loved dogs). Trust—the type of dog you have transmits way more. Yellow lab? Great. Tiny purse dog? Keep walkin’. Reserved for: Nearly every man on Earth.
Reptile: Whether it’s a tiny newt or a gigantic boa constrictor—they’re scaly, slithery and (sometimes) slimy. What it Says: “I’m okay with feeding live mice to something that could quietly strangle me in my sleep. Sweet dreams!” Reserved for: Guys with tribal tattoos and an affinity for Mountain Dew.
Bird: A parakeet, a cockatoo or a goddamned parrot. What it Says: “My apartment probably smells and you’re gonna have to get used to something flying loose around the house and/or repeating shit you say.” Reserved for: The weird guy in your office.
Fish: Ownership of fish can go one of two ways—a single goldfish in a sad bowl or a giant salt water aquarium that looks like something out of Finding Nemo. What it Says: “Best case scenario—I’ll take you on a trip somewhere awesome to go snorkeling or scuba diving. Worst case scenario—my favorite restaurant is Red Lobster and my home décor reflects that.” Reserved for: Amateur Jacques Cousteaus.
No Pets: You’re flying solo. What it Says: “I don’t want to commit to taking care of anything but myself right now. That said, there will be no having to cut a date short to go home and let the dog out, and when we do adopt a pet, it’ll be ours.” Reserved for: Young dudes just starting out (you’ll want to get a pet eventually, trust).