They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so if you’re going to cover them up whenever you step outside, you’ll want to make sure the sunglasses you’re wearing are sending the fairer sex the right signals. Spring is coming, gentlemen. So before you venture out into the sun again, choose wisely.
Wayfarers: The classic wayfarer shape is like a good oxford shirt—it’ll never go out of style and you’ll always look good in them. What they say: “I’m okay with being conventional because I have more interesting things to keep up with than current sunglass trends (I think very highly of myself, by the way). I’ll be consistent and probably text you back." Reserved for: Everyone. Almost everyone (regardless of gender) looks good in a pair of wayfarers, which is why you’ll always—’til the end of time—see so many people wearing them.
Aviators: Well-known glasses with a bit of a badass edge, Aviators have a thin frame and a round shape that sit well on many types of faces. What they say: “I’m up for an adventure and am full of surprises, but it’ll probably be a challenge for you to get me to meet your parents.” Reserved for: Guys who think they’re just a little bit cooler than they actually are (we forgive you, though).
Wraparound: Rectangular lenses, usually colored or mirrored, set in chunky plastic wraparound frames—Oakleys, we’re looking at you. The only way you can make these glasses less cool is to attach some Croakies to them. What they say: “I’m a douche. I’ll start shit with your best friend and the night manager at Denny’s. I also think Denny’s is an acceptable place for a date." Reserved for: Guys who are okay with looking like they’re stuck in the ’90s.
Wooden: A relatively recent development in the eyewear arena, sunglasses with wooden frames are unique and stand out from the rest—but are highly breakable. Wear at your own risk. What they say: “I pride myself on seeking out the unique—whether it’s the best restaurant, a trip to somewhere weird or accessories made out of wood.” Reserved for: Dapper dudes who love to tell strangers about where they bought their accessories.
Colorful Frames/Lenses: Sunglasses with colorful frames or lenses let everyone know you’re ready to throw down, which can be fun at certain times. But why have a pair of sunglasses that aren’t appropriate to wear on your way to work? What they say: “I’m probably going to get us kicked out of this bar.” Reserved for: Frat boys.
Clubmasters: These are classic but a bit unconventional (they’re styled after the horn-rimmed glasses men wore in the 1950s)—typically worn by wayfarer guys who are looking to set themselves apart from the pack. What they say: “I’m a traditional guy who probably has an affinity for good bourbon and likes Mad Men a little too much." Reserved for: Guys who have careers, not just a jobs.