Your girlfriend and a 1999 Ford F-150 have (at least) one thing in common.  They both need a tune up. It’s no secret that after spending months, years and possibly (for the strongest amongst us) decades with the same woman, a serious relationship can get seriously stale. You may notice your mind straying more often than usual, your attention span shortening with each new T.V. show you two watch while sitting estranged on the sofa. In such scenarios, whether or not you still find your lady supremely good-looking is actually only the tip of the ice berg. Ultimately, it’s her energy, willingness to meet you half way and general excitement for life that dictates her attractiveness.  So, read on to find out how to meet her there.

Destroy Her Inhibitions

Over the years, women can easily tighten into an impenetrable ball of tension in every way possible, making a woman forget her young physical prowess that initially won you over. If you sense that her confidence, not only in her body but in her body’s movements, is slowly ceasing, consider encouraging her to take dance classes. Acclaimed dancer, physical therapist, teacher and author Glenna Batson reveals that the right kind of movement training liberates people from “rigid holding patterns or other constraints that bind thought, feeling, and action. The emergence of somatic approaches and “release” techniques… supports the trend toward finding more free, autonomous ways of moving.” Even if your woman is incredibly uncoordinated, propose dancing as a carefree source of channeling stress. Buy her and her best friend certificates to convene weekly at a local dance studio to explore various styles. Zumba, (an African style), Bollywood, (Indian-influenced) and Burlesque, (a classy way not to call stripping stripping), are all highly physical, fun and female-driven. Downplay the scenario, as she might be extremely embarrassed, and tell her,  You never needs to show off her moves at home if you don’t want to.” Without any pressure to perform , she’ll gain confidence in her body and ultimately shed all shame in shaking, no matter who’s watching.

Beef Up Her Brain Power

Ever feel as though your lady sooner listens to literature concerning men than to your constant attempts at explanation? While most-likely true, you may have learned by now that approaching this scenario head on isn’t going to change your woman’s mind. Instead, suggest a book swap between the two of you. Tell her that you feel, “It’s important for a couple to share not only living space, but headspace.” Try suggesting Chad Kultgen’s critically acclaimed The Average American Male, heralded by Toby Young of the New York Times. “I can’t figure out if this book is a heart-felt dispatch from the front line in the battle of the sexes,” says Young, “or a brilliant send-up of the way in which the male point of view has been misrepresented by militant feminists. I suspect it may be both.”

If your partner cringes at the title, tell her that you chose this particular book because you knew she would be, “One of the only women cool enough to grasp the book’s content without getting caught up in the cover’s connotations.” Women like being considered ‘cool’ by their partners. Moreover, your woman will lunge at the opportunity to get her partner reading, though you will of course have to deal with your end of the bargain (i.e. potentially reading a book about women).

Get Her Game On

In order to reroute your relationship incompatibilities and condition your partner to sit beside you on the couch during a championship game, rather than stand in front of the T.V. screaming, open your woman’s mind to the world of celebrity athletes’ wonderful wives. She may not yet know that all the sexy women she idolizes in tabloid photographs are huge sports enthusiasts, accompanying their partners to games, foam fingers and all. Ask her which sport she can best identify with and tell her that you’d like for her to be included in your love for athletic games instead of separated from it like most women. This will make her feel an immediate desire to meet your affectionate offer with a determination to get down with the guide lines to your favorite game.

(Carefully) Encourage Her To Exercise

The word careful here is key. Accidentally communicating to your partner that you are unhappy with her physical appearance will only steepen her estrangement and insecurities. Instead, tell her that you read the interesting study (see below) concerning the major depression present in people, deficient in a balanced nutritional diet and daily exercise. Suggest that the two of you make a more proactive effort to address your physical and nutritional habits, jogging together or finding easy healthy recipes to share. Infamous for his relationship expertise and staple book Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, Dr. John Gray has created an incredible program for people to quickly and easily shed weight while focusing only on creating a positive mindset. “Thousands of overweight people have lost and kept off their extra weight in just a few weeks,” says Gray of his accessible program. “Loving couples who had lost some of the initial passion over their years together are now experiencing a renewed and lasting romantic glow.” Bring this evidence to your lady and let her take the lead in her own time.

Reinstate A Regular Sex Life

A study at the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina monitoring fifty-nine premenopausal women, charting their oxytocin levels before and after experience physical affection from their husbands, revealed that the more physical contact, the higher the oxytocin levels. Thus, it is obvious that a partner must make particular efforts to physically nurture a woman in order for her to emotionally and physically respond. The oxytocin levels created by sex are an investment not only in a nightly feel-good, but in a general desirability and warmth given to your woman. Gina Ogden, PhD, attests to the positivity of unabashed, consistent sexual attention: “One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves,” says Ogden. “Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.”  So brush up on your money making moves in the bedroom, light a few candles, pour a couple glasses of wine and make a regular effort to seduce and sexually excite your woman. Even if it takes some easing back into, the physical results will gradually trigger more and more effortlessness, excitement and enthusiasm on both your parts.