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Made Man is a proud partner of Movember. Grow a mo with movember.

As you’ve probably realized, the Movember movement is a truly historic development. In its honor, here’s a rundown of other Great Moments in Men‘s Hair. All of this stuff actually happened, we swear.

400 B.C
Samson gets his hair cut and thinks a wheat allergy is responsible for his markedly reduced strength.

880 A.D.
First instance of helmet-hair occurs in a Viking.

Alexander Hamilton becomes the first American to get laid while wearing a powdered wig.

Napoleon briefly loses his complex by sporting a four-foot beehive hairdo.

No one without a handlebar moustache is able to win a bare-knuckle boxing match.

For the 43rd consecutive year, the unbreakable comb doesn’t break.

A man from Crete shaves at 4:30, then has stubble reappear on his face half an hour later.

Hitler invades Poland. The downfall of the small square mustache begins.

Moe of the Three Stooges gets first bowl cut, after Shemp finishes his Corn Flakes.

The coroner’s report on James Dean reveals he died when his skull collapsed from too much pomade.

The musical “Hair” debuts on Broadway. Men don’t give a crap.

Someone forgets the rope for the tug-of-war at a Chattanooga picnic. Willie Nelson volunteers his ponytail.

A British man can’t decide whether to shave his head or grow his hair really high, so does both. The mohawk is born. Several peacocks subsequently try to have sex with him.

Artis Gilmore of the Kentucky Colonels becomes the first pro basketball player to block a shot with his afro.

Sy Sperling’s Hair Club for Men becomes either the opening or closing joke of every stand-up comic on Long Island.

After a slow, decades-long migration, Rod Stewart and Phyllis Diller finally have the exact same haircut.

New York Knick Anthony Mason starts carving words into his hair. More people read Mason’s head than the Utne Reader.

Andre Agassi has really, really long hair at Wimbledon and a cavernous bald spot at the French Open. Everyone on the planet, except for Michael Bolton, is perplexed.

Phil Spector remembers to kill someone but forgets to use conditioner.

Hair declared illegal by President Baldy.

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