Late afternoon in a bar. Three men are sitting at the bar, by themselves. The bartender, bored, decides to strike up a conversation with one of them.
“How are things?”, he asks the first man, who’s looking dejected.
“Terrible” is the response. “I feel absolutely terrible. Nothing’s going right, my life is waste, I just feel like jumping in front of a train.”
Taken aback, the bartender tries to cheer him up. “Come on, things can’t be that bad. If it’s something temporary, like not getting laid enough, things will always turn around. It’s not worth throwing your life away!”
First man: “Oh, no, that’s definitely not the problem! I get laid at least once a week! My problems are a lot more serious than that, believe me!”
Giving up for now, the bartender wanders over to the second man, who’s not looking too cheerful either. “How are you doing today?”
“Absolutely miserable” is the response. “I’ve got so many problems I don’t know where to start.”
The bartender tries to reassure him. “Come on! Life can’t possibly be that bad! Why don’t you get your mind off your troubles, have some fun. Get laid, for example.”
The second man gives him a rueful smile. “That’s not my problem, buddy, believe me. I get laid every day. My problems are much deeper than that.”
The bartender shrugs, and moves on to the third man. He’s looking very cheerful indeed.
“At least you look like you’re in a good mood. Not like those other guys over there, if you know what I mean.” says the bartender.
Third man, a big smile on his face: ” Yup! Life is great! In fact, why don’t you buy them a drink on me? “
Puzzled, the bartender serves the drinks, and comes back to the third man.
“What’s your secret, buddy? You know something these other guys don’t know?”
“No, I don’t think so. Life is just swell, I’m on top of the world!” beams the third man.
Feeling a slight bit miffed, the bartender asks “And how often do you get laid, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Oh, no I don’t mind at all. I get laid exactly once a year! Isn’t that great?”
The bartender is totally confused now. “You mean you only get laid one night a year, and you’re still so totally cheerful about life? How is that possible?”
The man looks at him, beaming, and says:
“Because… tonight’s the night!”