You can claim you’re an ass man, but I’ve never met a man that didn’t kneel at the altar of the rack. As much as guys love groping, most of you are clueless when it comes turning us on by touching our tits.

First, tell her that her breasts look amazing. We all bring our insecurities with us to bed, so hedge your bets and compliment her assets.

Don’t immediately tear her bra off — classic rookie mistake. Like any great sex, the key is to tease her enough that she begs you to get to the next step. Kiss down her neck and slowly across the top of her chest, dragging your tongue slightly to enhance the feeling of your breath against her skin.

When the bra finally comes off, pay attention to how she reacts to your touch. Caress, kiss, and massage. Drag your teeth gently. Flick her nipple with your tongue, but don’t fix your mouth on her nipple for too long, as that can be irritating or worse, infantilizing. No two women are alike — and neither are our breasts.

And remember: no motorboating allowed.