Remember when you were a starry-eyed high school sophomore and stumbled upon a mysterious silver bullet glittering from your best friend’s older sister’s bedroom drawer? You admired its lines and wondered how it worked. What did it teach you? Perhaps that sex is a many-splendored thing, a celebration of carnal desires and a never-ending hedonistic quest that yes, probably had you flipping through your dad’s dirty magazines to ahem, connect the dots.

Fast-forward to today and you’re a grown-up career man whose days consist of swipes on Tinder, wipes of your kid’s behind or somewhere in between. Whatever your status, the challenge of keeping your partner satisfied sexually can be a mighty one, as everyone’s kink threshold is different.

If the same old pump and thrust seems to have become an obligatory notion, try stepping things up downstairs. And I don’t mean with a helping hand, so to speak— I mean with two seemingly innocuous balls: Ben Wa. For women who struggle to orgasm with clitoral stimulation or cross the finish line with that elusive V-gasm (front wall of the vagina) these doodads are a godsend.

Ben Wa balls come in various forms: unattached and attached by a string for easy retrieval. There’s also the glorious hybrid of the vibrator of yesteryear and the classic weighted balls, combined to form vibrating Ben Wa balls. This is the mac daddy of female sex toys, as it delivers a feeling of weight within the lady parts and produces a pulsation that reverberates in all the right spots.


Sweden’s Lelo is one of the headliners in wireless toys, and their wildly popular, remote-controlled Hula Beads are the leader in the clubhouse right now.

Insert them slowly into your lady—lights on of course, as men are visual creatures—and while you’re doing that, make sure you leave no finger unturned, taking that lonely index finger and sliding it into her backdoor for some extra stimulation, provided she’s into that.

Once the balls are inserted, have her tighten her Kegel muscles and watch as the balls are ahem, swallowed. Once they’re in, flick the power mode on the remote and enjoy the unfolding show. Controlling the speed makes for some power struggle foreplay, especially if you and your lady are both unabashed type-A goal crashers. For ladies who orgasm from that elusive vaginal O, the vibrating motion will provide deep vaginal vibrations that will send her right over the edge.

Want to really push the envelope? Have her pop them in on a lunch date while you control the motions from across the table. The server will be sure to shake his head as he wonders if the tuna tartare was really just that good.