Horror Movie Hotties

by TylerV

You like scary movies. I don’t need to put on a white mask and growl at you on a cordless phone to figure that out.

Horror flicks are a gift to men for one reason: they revolve around beautiful women who inexplicably put themselves into dangerous-yet-sexy situations. Where else can you find gorgeous chicks who hear that a maniac killer is stalking their house/isolated resort/haunted space station and immediately think, “Wow, I better get naked and into that tanning booth, quick!”

While our top Chickipedia scientists and scholars further analyze the logic behind this “Get-Naked-to-Battle-the-Killer” strategy, don’t be afraid to check out these frighteningly hot horror movie heroines.

7. Sheri Moon Zombie

Where You’ve Seen Her: The Devil’s Rejects, riding shotgun in Rob Zombie’s coffin hot-rod

Claim to Terror Fame: Sheri Moon is most famous for her role as Vera-Ellen “Baby” Firefly, the only un-grotesque member of the murderous Firefly family depicted in House of a Thousand Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. Plus, her last name is Zombie…what more qualification do you need?

Strange Fact: She and husband Rob Zombie dated for over 13 years before getting married in 2002. That is the kind of plodding dedication you can expect from the undead…very sweet.

6. Rose McGowan

Where You’ve Seen Her: Grindhouse: Planet Terror, Charmed

Claim to Terror Fame: Rose made a gore-tastic turn (er, limp?) in Robert Rodriguez’s amazingly funny exploitation flick, Planet Terror, as Cherry Darling. Her character gets special distinction for the machine-gun prosthesis she uses to obliterate the zombies who ate her real leg. She really does have some killer legs…God, I should be disemboweled for a pun that bad.

Strange Fact: Her parents were members in Children of God, a psycho religious cult, whom Rose legally emancipated herself from when she was 10. That sounds like a horror movie all on its own.

5. Liv Tyler

Where You’ve Seen Her: The Strangers

Claim to Terror Fame: Ms. Tyler, a world-renowned movie star and model, recently made her debut in the thriller genre as Kristen McKay in The Strangers, where she is beset by killers with no motives and creepy bags on their heads. You know, many men have probably used a technique also commonly known as “the stranger” in conjunction with…aww, never mind.

Strange Fact: She is the daughter of Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler, and she was featured as a crazy, sexy party girl in many of his videos. Isn’t that more than a little strange and creepy?

4. Camilla Belle

Where You’ve Seen Her: When a Stranger Calls

Claim to Terror Fame: Ms. Belle played a character named Jill Johson in the recent remake of the classic “babysitter-gets-calls-from-inside-the-house” urban legend. To be honest, I just remember seeing Camilla’s gorgeousness from the preview and have no idea what the movie is about – more proof that the beautiful leading lady is the real focus of any scary movie.

Strange Fact: She is fluent in Portugese and a classically trained pianist. Neither of those things is strange; they just make her even sexier.

3. Naomi Watts

Where You’ve Seen Her: The Ring, Children of the Corn IV, Sleepwalkers

Claim to Terror Fame: Watts is a classic beauty best known for duking it out with the creepy, water-logged little girl in The Ring; however, you probably didn’t know that she has been taking out psychopaths since her role as a scientist in the short-lived “Sleepwalkers.”

Strange Fact: She had a very dreamy and intense lesbian scene with Laura Harring in David Lynch’s “Mulholland Drive,” which is an infinitely strange movie. No…hay…banda!

2. Jennifer Tilly

Where You’ve Seen Her: Bride of Chucky, Seed of Chucky

Claim to Terror Fame: Tilly is the baby-talking, tough, and insane sex pot in both of the most recent Child’s Play sequels. At one point in Seed of Chucky, she files her fingernails until she hits flesh so she can lick up her own blood.

Strange Fact: She’s an avid poker player and won over $150k in the Ladies’ No-Limit Texas Hold ‘Em World Series of Poker.

1. Jamie Lee Curtis

Where You’ve Seen Her: Halloween, The Fog, Prom Night, Terror Train

Claim to Terror Fame: Here she is…the Helen of Troy for cheap horror movies. Her screams and the uncanny success of a cheap little slasher flick called Halloween launched a thousand crappy horror movies into existence. In one way, you could argue that Curtis was born to be a horror movie legend because of her mother Janet Leigh’s iconic performances in Psycho and The Birds. Either way, hail to the scream queen.

Strange Fact: A persistent rumor that Curtis is “intersexual,” or a hermaphrodite,  remains unsolved to this day, as she refuses to talk about her sexuality.

 

 

 

 

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