A tall, gorgeous, sexually forward woman constantly wants to be around you and cater to your every whim. At first glance, that seems like a pretty welcome scenario for most dudes. Unfortunately, it also arouses immediate suspicions. Is it weird that this woman left twenty messages on my phone after I didn’t answer her text? Why does she keep threatening my female friends and coworkers? Is the fact that my name is the same as the one that’s under that lower-back tattoo she has of a bloody heart with the word FOREVER scrawled across it really just a complete coincidence, since she’s always liked that name?
No, my friends, it is not a coincidence. Those should be signs that the cradle has begun to rock, and you need to get the hell out. Here are the hottest dream girls who turned into nightmares on film while managing to stay damn attractive as they did it.
(Editor’s Note: most crazy women are blonde…not sure why.)
Screenjunkie’s own Taco Perkins couldn’t have said any better when he describe Larter in this year’s Obsessed as “the white b*tch from the quicktime, mothaf*ckas, you know who I mean.” Absolutely any man, of any race or professional standing, would be hard pressed to turn down Ms. Larter’s pressing, although disturbed advances. If she were wearing the skin tight booty shorts above, the man might’ve even have to be dead to not eventually give in to her ways.
Jaime upholds the crazy, underaged and unhinged legacy of the Poison Ivy series upheld by other prominent and mostly non-psycho actresses Drew Barrymore, Alyssa Milano, and others in the host of legendary B-Movie films. In my opinion, Jaime was the hottest of the crazy lady stalkers depsite being neither poison nor ivy. Discuss.
Eihi, the maniacal actress from the truly disturbing Japanese film Audition, isn’t one of your typical crazy stalkers like the other characters portrayed on this list, but she strikes absolute terror into the hearts of pompous, chauvinistic men nonetheless. She flips the normal trope of feminine submission on its head with her deadly, ice-cold performance as a woman who lures men into her web of death like a black widow spider. In real life, Eihi is actually very well-adjusted and has published a book of poems/photography. Ahh, that makes me feel better; men, you may unclench your groins now.
Ever fantasize about having sex with a beautiful woman in a pool? If you haven’t, you probably haven’t hit puberty yet and you should not be on this website. You may leave now…or learn the ways of the Chicki. Anyway, Erika played a sultry and absolutely irresistible swim groupie in the film Swimfan that could’ve tempted Michael Phelps away from his bong and back into the water. Not the bong water though. It’s unclear whether her sex scene with Ben Groban in the high school pool scarred more teenage males or drastically increased the enrollment for local swim classes.
The beautiful Jennifer Leigh ruled the 80’s as a young, indepedent, sexual actress that was willing to push the boundaries of feminine sexuality and cultural mores in new classics like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Single White Female. Of the scary ladies on this list, Ms. Leigh probably struck more fear into the hearts of college freshman in her portrayal of the roommate from hell than she did in the hurts of eager young 80’s men watching her perform sexual acts on the screen. In her adult life, Jennifer proved to be simply one of the most talented, nuanced American actresses in years. Some of her best roles were in Cronenberg’s eXistenz and The Machinist.
Another 80’s temptress, Rebecca’s portrayal of the proverbial hooker with a heart of gold in Risky Business made boys want to ride subways across the United States. She also managed to scare the crap out of middle aged men with her role as a psychotic babysitter in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Two lessons learned: don’t have unprotected sex, and be very, very careful about the people you hire to watch over your children. Well, actually you might not have to worry about the second role if you adhere to the first, but never mind.