2009 was a bit of a banner year for the “mature” actors out there, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t plenty of talent strutting the red carpets that was more in our age ranges. Granted, our age ranges are enormous, but that notwithstanding, the red carpet was replete with pushed-up breasts and pulled-in waists, and perfectly-coiffed do’s. So, in no particular order, here’s the four hottest Emmy winners this year.
Toni Collette has got a lot going for her besides her 2009 Emmy for Best Actress in a Comedy. Namely, she’s a chick with a hotter accent. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she’s a funny, hot girl which is approximately as common as four moons crossing the face of Saturn (hint: very effing rare). You know she’s down to party, too, because she dated Jonathan Rhys Meyers for some time, but unfortunately, she is now married to Dave Galafassi who is famous for nothing at all except dating Toni Collette.
Don’t be deceived by the frequency of funny on this list. You can expect that these two women are the pinnacles of hot-funniness (Hunniness?) in these United States unless you know of somebody flying under the radar who just hasn’t blown up yet. Tina Fey made her name years ago on Weekend Update (though nobody will ever match the best anchor ever). But, she truly won over the hearts (of women) and crotches of men as the adorably clumsy Liz Lemon in the mega-hit “30 Rock.” Also, she let us see in her apartment which was super friendly of her.
Kristin Chenoweth is a just about as perfectly, sexily, stereotypically the farmer’s daughter that is also the girl next door as you can get. She’s an orphan from Oklahoma (good band name?), and she appropriately broke into acting playing none other than Annie. She’s a devout Christian, which is ironic, because of the many, many impure thoughts she inspires in ourselves and others. Forgive us, Kristin, but we totally want to sin. A lot. All over the house. Maybe, like, bent over the kitchen island or something. (Ed. Note – Kristin won the Emmy for Supporting Actress in a comedy series, if you care)
Mkay. She’s on the cusp of cougar-hood. We’ll admit that. But the dark-complected charms of this Iranian uber-milf have us helplessly ensnared. She’s 57! How does she look that good?! She won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a miniseries or movie, but the real focus should have been on her gravity-defying breasts that stand defiant in the face of age. Her matriarchal mystique is only enhanced by the fact that she fled Iran to escape a bloody revolution, so you know there isn’t much that you could throw her way she couldn’t handle and handle well. If she knows how to slip out of a coup, imagine the situations she could slip you into. Jeez.