The American Pie franchise just keeps on shoveling seconds and third helpings onto our plates, and the latest slice is the DVD release of “American Pie: Book of Love.” It chronicles the misadventures of a handful of horny high schoolers who stumble upon the legendary Stifler’s Book of Love. It’s a compendium of naughty tips, tricks, and other such morsels of information for the curious young lovers out there.
That’s all well and good. But, what interested us here at Chickipedia, was the almost non-stop parade of sexual fantasies that march bouncily through this series. So. Here’s a list of them, duh.
Tara Reid, recently made dubiously famous on her party girl reality show on E! was once (a little) more innocent when she was introduced to American audiences in the first American Pie film as the throaty-voiced vixen who seduces, corrupts, and otherwise sexes her lucky-as-hell boyfriend, Kevin. Though, she has had some ups and downs over her career, she has at the very least proven herself to be a girl ready for adventure, and at the very most, the perfect, badass girlfriend who is ready to push you just a little too far.
Mena Suvari was the opposite of the hooker with a heart of gold in the first American Pie when she played the soft spoken, semi-geeky glee girl who managed to seduce the studly lacrosse player who, by all accounts, ought to have been paired with a heart-of-gold-hooker. She’s also a talented poker player and she’s named after an Egyptian hotel. Hot.
All of us remember Shannon Elizabeth as the perfect, almost ludicrously accurate fantasy of every single high school male…ever. She plays the nymphomaniacal foreign exchange student who moves in and needs a helping hand, but also wants to teach you all about the pleasures of the flesh from around the globe. Kept fit by the poverty in her homeland and willing to express her love of both America and your hospitality via her boobs, she was responsible for a plethora of warped jeans zippers in our youth.
Famous for playing the flute with an entirely novel and typically less dextrous pair of lips, Alyson Hannigan made a very, very naughty name for herself by playing Michelle Flaherty in the first American Pie where she revealed to the tragically virginal Jason Biggs just exactly what went down (and where it went when it was down there) at Band Camp.
Arielle Kebbel played Eylse in “American Pie: Band Camp” and elicited a giant psychic groan of frustration from our collective sexual unconscious during this blue ball-inducing scene. But we can’t fault her too much for that. Before that film, she was a contestant in the 2002 Miss Florida Teen USA Beauty Pageant. She was also number 95 in Maxim’s hot 100, but, she’s focusing on acting now. Her next film, “Mardi Gras,” by all accounts should at least foster more scenes like the above, linked one.
Angela Little had a smallish role as Sheree in “American Pie: Band Camp,” but she had a role about the size and density of a frozen tube of cookie dough in our pants when she was the August 1998 playmate of the month and again when she subsequently starred in several Playboy videos and special editions following her spread in the centerfold. She was also on Reno 911 and was the spokes model representing the St. Pauli girl. So. You know. We’ve already sent her an evite to the Chickipedia semi-annual KY wrestling match.
Continuing in the time-honored tradition of British girls being heart-crushingly attractive, and the even nobler tradition of exchange students teaching young American males the ways of an international lover, Louisa Lytton plays Imogen, a British exchange student in the newest Amerian Pie installment, “American Pie: Book of Love.”
Italia Ricci, despite having the second most Italian name on the world to “Mario Mario,” was born in Canada. Her career basically started with her role in “American Pie Presents Beta House,” and has been steadily growing with appearances on “Secret Girlfriend,” “How I Met Your Mother,” and “Unnatural History.”
Rachel appeared first on the reality show “For Love or Money” where she heart-warmingly turned down a million smackeroos to be with the love of her life (or at least the best guy out of the 16 suitors that started). After that, she starred in American Pie: Band Camp where she played Dani, a band camp instructor that has a Summer fling with one of the students. Right around the time that movie was released on DVD, she posed for Playboy and was very, very naked therein.
Meghan Heffern starred in “American Pie Presents: Beta House” in 2007, and also in the 2009 film, “Chloe.” She’s currently living in Edmonton, but we’re able to forgive how far away she is from our offices in Beverly Hills because of her unassailable hotness. And also for tackling the role of the girlfriend of a Stifler. Never an easy task, one imagines.
This foxy star of “American Pie: Naked Mile” is just about everything we’re looking for in a woman. She’s topless, she’s wearing those little fluff-butt panties, and she starred in a movie about running around naked. We never pretended to be anything but easily-pleased gentleman of leisure. She’s starring in a movie coming out in 2010 called “Shark City” which is, unfortunately, not about mostly-naked chicks fighting sharks underwater, it’s about poker. Take what you can get, we suppose.
Alyssa is another Canadian born lady who starred in American Pie Naked Mile. She also starred in the E! channel’s ultra-famous “Girls Next Door” and posed for Canadian Playboy (That exists? Awesome). After accruing a large enough fanbase, she started her own Youtube vlog, Anatomicallyin22, and she also works for Interview Magazine in New York. Sidenote: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.