Are you a porn addict? Let’s be honest. I grew up in the days when porn actually had to be stolen out of my dad’s top drawer in his desk. I then had to go make sure that nobody was in the den looking, as I quickly put the porn in the VHS player and watched some really bad— really f***ing bad—sex going on.

Nowadays, all you’ve got to do is Google “boobs,” and you’ve got tons of free porn that you can watch 24/7. You could see anything you want. From midgets having sex to three women giving some guy head. Whatever you look for, you can find online.

The problem is, most porn is not written or directed by women. It’s a man’s fantasy of the way he wants sex to be.

But here’s the deal about porn. Porn is very addicting to a guy that’s not having regular sex. So addicting that when he finally does have regular sex, he actually thinks and acts like the porn star that he saw in the videos. The problem is, most porn is not written or directed by women. It’s a man’s fantasy of the way he wants sex to be.

Think about it. Who doesn’t want to be able to screw a woman and blow a gigantic load all over her body?!? I mean, they must have bionic loads in those things. And then have her smear it all over herself and beg for more. Who doesn’t want to have a woman who wants you to screw her in 17 different positions in the span of three minutes?

Men write and direct porn. Porn defines men as sexual superheroes that don’t really exist. Meanwhile, many women are not as big of fans. Women don’t want to have sex like in a porn movie. Women like tender, long, slow foreplay. Women like you initiating the hot, incredible buildup to the sex, not just throwing her down on the ground and banging the hell out of her.

Thus, porn basically has destroyed many men’s sex lives. Many men truly, really think that women want it and desire it like they do in porn. But, it’s the exact opposite. So, if you’re a porn addict, if you’re one of those guys t constantly watching porn and constantly thinking that sex is like porn, you need to break the habit immediately.

Stop looking at this. No really, stop looking at this.

If you don’t stop you’re going to be a one and done with the next woman you meet. You’re going to have sex with her; you’re going to throw her into 17 different positions, and she’s going to think you’re some type of maniac. She’s never going to want to have sex with you again.

I’ve spent years coaching men and women, and I can tell you: there’s not a woman out there who wants to have sex like a porn star (though there are a fair number who will pretend they do.) So, it’s time you guys got rid of the porn addiction and started reading maybe some of those cheesy little romance novels, and taking note of the buildup that women have when they read.

Men masturbate to porn, women masturbate to the thought of sex, to the seduction of sex, to the intrigue of sex, and to the power of sex. Learn what a woman wants, and you’ll become a great lover. Keep watching porn, and you’ll keep masturbating until your penis falls off. Your call.

Editor’s note: Looking for non-lousy sex tips? Check out the Spotter playlist—a series of short videos with handy tips—below.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. His most recent book is Naked!: How to Find the Perfect Partner by Revealing Your True Self from Hay House. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit him on his website at davidwygant.com.