Of course, there are an easy million ways to approach this task. There’s life coaching opportunities here that reach so far back into your fundamental psychology, you’ll have your therapist lying backwards across her own couch (in the less than sexy way). But let’s take a look at the best and least painful ways to create some kind of stirring charisma without unearthing centuries of childhood trauma, shall we?

Quick Guide Steps to Grade A Charisma

#1 Loosen Up

If you’re the buttoned up, straight-laced, workaholic, neurotic-tendency-type, the first step is to RELAX. While this may feel completely contradictory to your nature, you must know that any man too busy tightening his tie to pause and make an off-handed joke is not a charismatic one. You may be reliable and loyal, but we all know that won’t necessarily snag you the sexiest sort of woman in a casual circumstance. Think of it this way – in a casual circumstance, be casual. There’s nothing more awkward and off-putting than someone trying to prove the good points of their personality in a first meeting. This will only make you seem desperate, insecure and completely uncomfortable.

#2 Joke Around

It doesn’t matter if you’re funny. Don’t TRY to be funny – that is a disaster. Instead, try to simply convey something you find amusing to your surrounding company. Don’t approach the instance as a grand opportunity to impress an audience, this will add a completely unnecessary layer of pressure that will only hijack your original intention. You’re not a “funny man” (mademan.com/don’t-be-omega-man), you’re a charismatic man, and this means flitting from conversational topic to joke, back to conversation and back to jokes, seamlessly. No punch lines, please, just a generally enjoyable presence will do.

#3 Pay The Right Kind Of Compliments

A ladies man I knew once said it best: “Casual is always better than bold.” In cases of charisma, this is absolutely true. Whereas grand gestures are great for guys trying to land ladies for life, subtle hints are best for those looking for something less serious. It’s all about the delivery, which depends entirely on two things. One – your vocalization/word choice. Two – the timing. The greatest suggestion one could offer here is to go with the quintessentially charismatic choice of surprising a stranger with a compliment. For example, while talking with a potential pick up, randomly interrupt her by saying “You’re gorgeous, by the way.” She’ll be caught off guard, of course, but before she has time to awkwardly respond, recover by adding, “Sorry to interrupt you, it just slipped out, carry on, won’t you?” Divert the focus and act as though nothing ever happened. She’ll be perfectly intrigued.

#4 Don’t Be Boring

Being bored, makes you boring (mademan.com/are-you-bore) At all moments, find something interesting. So long as you ARE interested, you ARE interesting. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be constantly contributing to the conversation or desperately reaching around for various topical material. You could be standing aloof in the background, glancing at some far off signpost and still grab the attention of a good-looking onlooker, simply by setting yourself in the present, apart from your iPhone, apart from the senseless small talk, apart from the cheap crowds. In this day and age, you are automatically charismatic by removing yourself from the monotone masses glued to their electronics and tabloids.

#5 Become The Life Of The Party

It may seem strange to advise you to stand apart from the crowd while simultaneously advising you to become the life of the party, but that’s probably because we need to clarify something here. Being the center of attention means getting wasted and jumping into the freezing pool, letting someone draw obscenities on your face, cussing needlessly, yelling obnoxiously, etc. Being the life of the party, however, entails making a memorable toast (mademan.com/how-give-good-toast), pausing to have shared moments with party goers, making eyes at women across the room, approaching strangers in a dignified and genuine manner and refraining from getting too loaded to drive home. This sort of subtle behavior will magnetize people to you rather than make them afraid to get too close. By playing down your machismo, adding a spot of decorum and engaging eyes by seductive smiles instead of cheesy conversation starters, you will master man’s quest for charisma without even having to work at it.